Dipshit Theory

Refers to observation that where one dipshit goes others will follow. Akin to mass think theory.

I witnessed dipshit theory in action last night at the soc hop wendy.

Youre just jealous!

I saw you looking at him!

Oh, greg...you are despicable!

by ESPeciallyscientific April 18, 2018

NPC theory

Wow! That is a long ass article that says absolutely nothing. And you got paid for that. In it they basically say that 'NPC theory doesn't address how complicated the mind is and nudging and priming have replication issues in studies.' That's it. It wasn't a theory. It was a simile used to describe protesters (specifically) who have an absolute sophisticated understanding of topics that is fed to them from the top down and denotes how they do little more than run that script when the are speaking on those topics.

Hym "And 'Main Character Syndrome' is just more evidence that you idiots are treating propositions as though it's newton's first law and that for every proposition there is and equally true opposite position. But Main Character Syndrome isn't a thing. It relates to the soft solipsism that I always talk about but BOTH NPC theory AND Main Character Syndrome are blatant misrepresentations of what I actually said. I also wrote a Theory of Mind that was later used to create AI. So, lie of ommission. Reductio ad absurdum. And as far as the priming and nudging... I know EXACTLY what it's going to do in my case."

by Hym Iam January 3, 2025

Cosette Theory

Cosette Theory is the scholarly examination of Cosette’s linguistic idiosyncrasies, particularly focusing on recurring typographical errors and the identification of consistent patterns in her lexical mistakes. It extends further into the analysis of habitual behaviors and the prediction of her actions based on linguistic and behavioral trends. In essence, Cosette Theory serves as an overarching framework for understanding Cosette’s unique communicative and behavioral patterns.

Gerbert: "Yo, Cosette has dropped the word 'ducking' like 6 or 7 times in the last hour. What’s the deal with that?"
Zoidberg: "Have you even read up on Cosette Theory??"
Gerbert: "Is that a dropper reference or something. This is the 2112th time you've mentioned that"
Zoidberg: "Gerbert you have mental covid"
Horse: "Who doesn't?"
WhoDoesnt: "Fuck my chungus life"

by cаshcow69 November 11, 2025

Group theory

Field of abstract algebra dealing with how different symmetries relate to each other (e.g. are they equal? parts of each other? "multiply" to give some other group we want?)

There's a nice VISUAL introduction to group theory which is (imo) watchable at mid-high school levels (15+ yo ish): 3Blue1Brown's video currently titled "Group theory, abstraction, and the 196883-dimensional monster"

by mb6fbhsphdrcb April 23, 2025

Critical republican theory

Critical republican theory is to take anything considered woke and assume people of color to blame and indoctrinate children when in reality the Republicans are just racist

Matt walsh had a critical republican theory that schools teaching about race is making him look bad so he got upset and cried over woke media

by ancientalienrockdweller December 4, 2021

Phonetic Temperature Theory

the Phonetic Temperature Theory is a theory that states that as average temperature of a native speaker's location decreases over a long span of time, the verb-consonant ratio of the native speaker's words decreases, and that speech quickens and hardens in colder temperature. Secondly, This theory also states the vice versa; as average temperature of a native speaker's location increases over a long span of time, the verb-consonant ratio of the native speaker's words increases, and that speech slows and smooth-ens in warmer temperature. Thirdly, this theory also states that pronunciation changes quicker when the average temperature of a native speaker's location changes quicker, and that pronunciation changes slower when the average temperature of a native speaker's location changes slower.

Person 1: How can I predict when the pronunciation of a word will change?
Person 2: with Phonetic Temperature Theory, we can do this by 1. knowing how long the current pronunciation has existed for, 2. knowing the differences in local average temperature at the beginning of pronunciation usage to now, 3. knowing previous pronunciation of the preceding form of the word, and using IPA slope to predict future pronunciation and use multiplication (local average temperature now - local average temperature at the beginning of pronunciation usage)/(time between beginning of pronunciation usage and now), if the value is positive (meaning the local temperature got warmer) then shift clockwise on the IPA chart (k -> g), this is the reasoning for why Latin "catta" became "gato" because the Spanish/Portuguese climates are slightly warmer than the Ancient Roman climate.

by hgjfsklvmjfghbugdsfkc November 27, 2023

Wilt Theory

"Wilt Theory": the idea that decay, deterioration, or emotional exhaustion follows a predictable or inevitable pattern.

It is often used to describe recurring patterns of low mental health, and originates from a comparison between wilting flowers and poor mental health.

Person 1: "I don’t know, I’ve been feeling really off again. Like, I’ll have a few good days and then suddenly everything crashes. It’s like clockwork."
Person 2: "Sounds like Wilt Theory to me."

by ennojohan_music June 13, 2025