Internet Guy

A guy you hire to watch porn and masturbate, as you, the customer, watches for amusement.

Guy A: Oh, hey thanks for coming. Been waiting all week for you to come by.
Internet Guy: No problem, my schedule has been all backed up. So, where's the computer.
Guy A: Well, here it is.
Internet Guy: (Begins to search up porn, and remove pants) Well here we go.
Guy A: Oh, yeah. You are the best Internet guy, I had... <3

by TheRealOneRootBeer September 12, 2017

internet stoned

When you've used the Internet so long, you're beginning to appear to be stoned. Similar to internet coma, except not nearly as serious and you don't need permanent termination of Internet usage, just a quick nap and you'll be fine for the next slug. Notice symptoms:

-Slack-jaw-ness.
-Inability to concentrate.
-Ruined memory.
-Insanity (oh wait we all have that).

Random d00d #1: Did you hear about Derek the other night? Man, was he Internet Stoned!
Random d00d #2: Wha happen?
Random d00d #1: Oh wait you're Derek #&*($&$*(#$&(FUCK

Jenny: Dude, you're totally Internet stoned.
Derek: Huhr?
Jenny: It's like an internet coma except you're only a quarter dead, not all dead.
Derek: Thash nice. Remind me to go to Jenny's house when I wake up. crashes
Jenny: *looks at watch* Great. That's the last blind date I'll ever have.

by Thatguywith2020vision June 23, 2011

Battle for the Internet

A recent war between the RIAA and MPAA and the entire rest of the intelligent population of America. Piracy was to be fought with the two bills SOPA and PIPA, which would effectively censor the Internet by taking down websites that are accused of copyright infringement, whether or not the website actually engaged in it. The battle resulted in victory for the Internet after thousands of popular websites blacked out on January 18, 2012, SOPA and PIPA were dropped.

How the Battle for the Internet started:
RIAA: "We're going to pass these bills so you don't steal our crap anymore."
Public: "No! These bills kill the Internet! It's a direct violation of the 1st Amendment!"
RIAA: "Fuck the 1st amendment! You guys are way too stupid to have your own opinion!"
Gandalf: (about SOPA/PIPA) "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"

by Powermad80 February 24, 2012

Internet Explorer

A app that’s always preinstalled on those damn PCs. They advertise it as a tool for browsing, but Microsoft doesn’t want you to know it’s a tool for downloading the latest version of the BALL-KICKING Mozilla Firefox.

Gary: What browser do you use?
Quince: “Firefox, but did you hear about Internet Explorer? It’s the best browser for downloading other browsers like Firefox!
Gary: NO WAY! I’ll be sure to check it out!

by WHY ARE THERE NO PSEUDONYMS RE November 23, 2020

stretching the internet

When you're procrastinating on some task by browsing the internet but you're running out of your normal sites to distract you.

I was unmotivated at work today so I was stretching the internet.

by joesappy October 21, 2021

Internet God

Internet God is an alternate of Chad but stronger,this version of Chad is supported by Chad because he worships his chadness

Someone:I don't hate people for being a furry nor a dream sexual
Someone 2:Good for you.
Someone:Plus I think twitter is not a community full of clowns,they are just the 1st evolution of humans,they will improve eventually
Someone 2:You are an internet God

by SomeSpyPlayer123 (noimnot) December 7, 2021

Internet Drunk

When someone uses social media to announce to the world they are drunk, when clearly they are not. Tell tale signs of "Internet drunk" are perfect grammar, no typos and a cleverly executed post.

Guy1: Check this fly bunny on Twitter. She nothing but giggles, yo! POST: "I'm so drunk right now, I forgot to conjugate a verb"
Guy2: Who this bitch be lying? She nothing but Internet drunk! Believe dat!
Guy1: You tripping son!
Guy2: Let's go measure our dicks?
Guy1: Word up!

by @TheRealLobot May 15, 2013