Touch ID

The most useless fucking thing phone companies have ever come up with since they can be easily broken by a drop of sweat.

I stopped using Touch ID coz it kept fucking locking me out of my phone.

by Don’t just don’t May 4, 2021

Chinese Butt-Touch

When you touch your butt ten times fast. (See also Russian Butt-Touch).

Have you done the Chinese butt-touch?

by Dengus69 August 3, 2016

The touch of a woman

Slang for herpes. Nurses and medical personnel can assess your infection status even through social media.

Nick : You will never feel the touch of a woman.
Joe : Yes doctor, I always use protections.

Christine : You have never felt the touch of a woman.
Jonas : Well, you clearly haven't felt the touch of a good doctor either, because that burn needs some serious ointment !

by Rey Marsh April 5, 2024

Touched the gay deodorant

When walking the aisles of the supermarket, a man who goes to the wrong section of the deodorant aisle, the gay section, and subsequently touches the gay deodorant causes the aforementioned man to become a raging homosexual. By the time the formerly straight male makes it to the end of the aisle, to realise their mistake, they will be speaking with a gay lisp, dreaming of smoking pole and being slammed in the arse by eight giant prison homos and dressing in tight pants with the arse missing.

There goes Colin, he touched the gay deodorant
I know a guy called Colin and he touched the gay deodorant and now he likes being slammed in the arse by massive homos in back alleys

by honneamise March 29, 2021

touching grass

the equivalent of sex

Friend 1: hey man have you had any sex recently?
Friend 2: no, but i've been touching grass

Friend 1: LETS GOO!!

by 8k AliExpress recliner May 14, 2022

I'm NoT tOuChInG yOu

I thought school shootings were an INCEL thing 🤔 Hmmm.... I mean... That's not what I said. I said it was constantly being demonized and mocked.

Hym "The guy who is literally fucking the female version of me was talking shit so I'm going to outline the chronology of events. You motherfuckers stuck your finger in my face and twirled it around while saying 'I'm NoT tOuChInG yOu! I'm NoT tOuChInG yOuUuUu!' And then I popped you in the mouth by saying 'And I'm not threatening your kids motherfucker. I'm not going to come in here with a stolen shotgun. I'm not raising an army of hammer clowns' and what did you do? You stuck your finger right back in my face. And what would have happened if I had done something other than this? Huh? You would have said 'Well, clearly I played no role in that. I mean, yeah, he said he would do a thing if I didn't stop but I didn't think he would actually do it! It's not my fault I kept doing the thing I was told would get my kids killed!' I mean seriously. If I told you not to eat something because I KNEW IT WOULD KILL YOU and YOU TOLD ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF, WHOSE FAULT WOULD IT BE THAT YOU DIED? YOURS MOTHERFUCKER."

by Hym Iam March 30, 2023

Touch up

When a girl shaves her area even if it's only been a few days And there's nothing there.

"Yeah I was gonna smash David but I felt gross without my touch up!"

by Jason3245 May 2, 2018