secret squoggit sauce

the better term for aloe vera for when your stark white bitch ass gets burned to a crisp and looks like red 40

damn my pretarded ass got burned like a squoggit, gonna need to shuck the plant for some secret squoggit sauce to relieve my bitch ois

by forble June 9, 2025

Secret chipstick

Putting one’s penis into a bag of crisps (preferably salt and vinegar) and asking another to reach inside.

‘Dave: fancy a crisp?’ ‘Gary: don’t mind if I do…goddamit not again I’ve touched your secret chipstick!!!!!!!!!!’

by Whatthesigmas June 10, 2025

secret

lewis is a guy who was very kind and caring at first BUT when you G E T with him he is crazy. he doesnt let you talkt o your friends unless therye G I R LS but guess what??? he can talk to girls... he wont let you even be with friends who are GAY. he will stay friends with people who tried in the past fucking up ur relationship and even if you tell him youre not comfy with him being friends with them he will not CARE about your feelings. he ALWAYS has a way to turn a argument that he starts over no reason and makes it your fault, if you try telling him about serious issues that you would like to talk to someone about he will only say "awh im sorry" and go laugh with his friends on the game. he is tech dating his game and fallen in love with it bc all he does which this is very sad to say but he will wake up, turn on the pc, brush his teeth (thank god) get dressed, sit on his desk and just play his game ALL DAY. even though he does this if youre his girlfriend and you want to play with your friends a argument will occur bc he doesnt like it when you have FUN. if you wanna go out with some friends he will get mad and then go call girls to comfort him bc he loves the attention. if a girl talks bad abt you he will not tell you and instead talk to them about you also. he will never ever let you have guy friends even if you knew them before him? wanna know why? bc he is INSECURE.

"I have a secret! I think I like Lewis!"

"Oh.."

by heyguyssssssssssssssssss July 9, 2025

Secret History Theory

The belief that what you learned in school is a sanitized fairy tale, and that real history is a hidden narrative of power struggles, secret elites, and suppressed truths. Professor Jiang’s “Secret History” lectures claim to strip away the official myths to reveal how power actually works—often through covert networks, ideological manipulation, and recurring cycles of corruption and collapse. It’s for people who think history class was a CIA plot and that the real story is always juicier, darker, and more consequential.

“Bro, Secret History Theory says the Roman Empire didn’t fall because of barbarians—it was a secret cult of billionaire patricians who engineered the crisis to reset the debt clock. That’s why we’re living in the Pax Americana version 2.0.”

by Abzugal January 24, 2026

pan-seared

to be humiliated by a witty retort in front of one's cohorts; to get served. Pronounced: paaan-theeeared.

Somebody's ass just got pan-seared

by anonymous3000 October 12, 2007

No Secret Handshake

No Secret Handshake connotes an egalitarian, open-to-all membership policy.

The committee welcomed newcomers, you know, "No Secret Handshake".

by Mr. Fourth of July August 1, 2011

loaded secret

When you a person not to tell a person about something but you really want that person to know (without eagerness). A loaded secret is meant to help you in a backward behind way.

(A story about Tim, Jake, and Emily)

JAKE TO TIM: Don't Emily this but I think she's hot
TIM TO EMILY: Jake said you were hot but that's a secret so don't say anything.

EMILY TO JAKE: Tim said you had a crush on my
JAKE TO EMILY: That was supposed to be a secret but how does that make you feel.
EMILY TO JAKE: I think your hot too so let's make baby's
JAKE TO TIM: Hey thanks for telling Emily that was a loaded secret so I wanted her to know the whole time.

by bucky242 January 7, 2012