Anything in ones way along the most direct path between your current location and the nearest toilet when arriving at the privy is a very "time sensitive affair". These obstacles should be lept over with haste and zeal proportional to how severe a turtle head is in progress.
"Dude, Jibba gambled with some Taco Bell and lost, he stiff legged it all the way to his front door, he opened it up and his dog rushed him, his girlfriend started in on him, and his cell phone rang simultaneously. He proved he has mastered the art of the turd hurdle."
by Mr. Blobfish August 6, 2016
Get the Turd Hurdlemug. A shat that is multiple shades of brown, usually embedded in the same gnarly turd. Not to be confused withpoopinashit.
It's the product of eating chinese food, thai food, mexican food, and pizza within a 24 hr. period.
It's the product of eating chinese food, thai food, mexican food, and pizza within a 24 hr. period.
Fella: "Yo, G-Dawg, I think I just joined the armed forces!"
G-Dawg: "Sup, You shit a camo-turd?"
Fella: "Yeah mane, howd you know?"
G-Dawg: "Cause we ate the same thing today, fella."
G-Dawg: "Sup, You shit a camo-turd?"
Fella: "Yeah mane, howd you know?"
G-Dawg: "Cause we ate the same thing today, fella."
by rubtwostix February 14, 2012
Get the camo-turdmug. 1: A shit/turd so painful it Kills you.
2:The Last shit you will ever take before you die.
3: The dump someone takes on death row before they meet 'ole-sparky'
4: When you die and THEN you shit yourself, being definatley the last shit you ever take!
5:When someone has been on the toilet so long and never come out, they must have shith their Death Turd.
6: A Shit so horrible it is the harbinger of DEATH!
7: Barack Obama
2:The Last shit you will ever take before you die.
3: The dump someone takes on death row before they meet 'ole-sparky'
4: When you die and THEN you shit yourself, being definatley the last shit you ever take!
5:When someone has been on the toilet so long and never come out, they must have shith their Death Turd.
6: A Shit so horrible it is the harbinger of DEATH!
7: Barack Obama
1: My Dad... he... He shit his Death Turd!
2: As i sat by my dying father's side, i held his hand, it was such a solemn moment... Until he Shit his Death Turd
3: Times up Maggot, its off to the chair with you, hurry up and shit your Death Turd.
4: I Watched my dad die on the street, i wept until i caught the scent of his Death Turd.
5: Theyve been in there an hour, i think they shit their Death Turd!
6:Oh God, the world's gonna END, i just Shit a Death Turd.
7: I went to Washington and Met the Nation's Death Turd.
2: As i sat by my dying father's side, i held his hand, it was such a solemn moment... Until he Shit his Death Turd
3: Times up Maggot, its off to the chair with you, hurry up and shit your Death Turd.
4: I Watched my dad die on the street, i wept until i caught the scent of his Death Turd.
5: Theyve been in there an hour, i think they shit their Death Turd!
6:Oh God, the world's gonna END, i just Shit a Death Turd.
7: I went to Washington and Met the Nation's Death Turd.
by MajorBabeMarshal June 14, 2012
Get the Death Turdmug. When you have a very extreme bowl movement consisting of (one) extra large deposit of waste that always results in a water flow obstruction within the toilet. This will without question require a tool to dislodge the stoppage. By no means consult a plummer for the proper flow will resume when extraction is completed. extra soaking time may help loosen material and expedite full water flow
Zak you just laid a "logger turd" the size of a rolling pin. Go get the plunger quickly before it sets up like portland cement. Moron ass hole!
by Zeektoad February 13, 2010
Get the Logger Turdmug. The one small turd that remains in your butt and refuses to join it's friends after you've dropped all the other logs into the toilet. No matter how much you push, it pokes out a little, but always goes back in once you stop.
The Uncertain Turd: mama always said, "if all your friends jumped into the toilet bowl, would you jump to?"
by EatMyPubes January 26, 2011
Get the The Uncertain Turdmug. Depending on the context, a "turd embargo" is:
1) A total inability to defecate (i.e. shit) for an extended period of time, or under normal circumstances, because your body has decided to halt the manufacture and exportation of magic butt fudge. Typically caused by diet, drugs, or existential angst. Also known as "severe constipation";
Or
2) Deliberate and systematic exclusion of a specific person from social gatherings because they are obnoxious, loud, creepy, or otherwise socially undesirable, i.e. a "turd".
1) A total inability to defecate (i.e. shit) for an extended period of time, or under normal circumstances, because your body has decided to halt the manufacture and exportation of magic butt fudge. Typically caused by diet, drugs, or existential angst. Also known as "severe constipation";
Or
2) Deliberate and systematic exclusion of a specific person from social gatherings because they are obnoxious, loud, creepy, or otherwise socially undesirable, i.e. a "turd".
(Example 1): "Hey Jackhole, there's only 1 bathroom in this bar, and you're holding it up. So take some damned Ex-Lax ; lift the turd embargo!"
(Example 2): "Dude, why didn't you invite my brother to this party?!"
"Because he literally FUCKED my X-Box at the last party, in front of everyone - no foreplay, no lube, not even a god-damn reacharound. It hasn't worked right since then, so he's under a permanent turd embargo."
(Example 2): "Dude, why didn't you invite my brother to this party?!"
"Because he literally FUCKED my X-Box at the last party, in front of everyone - no foreplay, no lube, not even a god-damn reacharound. It hasn't worked right since then, so he's under a permanent turd embargo."
by Admiral Viggo September 20, 2016
Get the Turd Embargomug. by 3b0nk4 March 30, 2011
Get the Pinocchio Turdsmug.