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Critical fat-cock theory

This only thing you WON'T steal and promulgate.
Hym "Nobody else thinks that's weird? They'll steal EVERYTHING BUT critical fat-cock theory! That isn't weird to anyone else? God, I think it's weird. Don't you? Critical fat-cock theory! The ultimate theory! So profound it terrifies scholars and charlatans alike."
by Hym Iam April 22, 2024
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Shit Sandwich Theory

A simple thought experiment to explain the process behind the electoral college

You and two friends decide to go out to eat for lunch, only one of you brought a card so you all agree to venmo the one who brought it after you eat as none of you brought any cash either.

You want to get some pizza, and your two friends want to eat human shit sandwiches, you decide to put it to a democratic vote because that’s obviously the most fair right?

You obviously lose and you have to eat the shit sandwich, sucks doesn’t it?

How could this have been avoided?

Simple, you make your vote worth 2, this forces an even tie and forces the shit sandwich twins (you should probably stop hanging out with them btw) to compromise, you all end up agreeing on burgers and you eat in relative peace

Now apply this logic to the electoral college, and you understand why the Montana Wheat farmer or the Wyoming cattle rancher’s state gets to have as much of a say as California or New York
Statement:“Land doesn’t vote, people do”

Retort: “Shit sandwich theory”
by Cockyrooster1135 June 19, 2022
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New-Phone Theory

When you are out of ideas to tell your friend why he cannot get a girlfriend, or female attraction. So you have to be nice and say it’s the quality of his camera, say he needs a new phone.
No Jacob, you’re not ugly. Just get a new phone, the women will be all around you! It’s called the New-Phone Theory!
by Djay_man July 7, 2021
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The Desi connection theory

The theory that every Desi within an state will somehow be connected through one person or another
“Bro, how do you know every Desi kid from my first grade class, I lived 3 cities over”

“It’s the Desi connection theory
by YumiYumiNoMi January 10, 2023
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Trumped leadership theory

Trumped leadership theory is based off the idea of influence through power and a high concern for productivity.
Being able to establish 'Trumped Leadership Theory' means ones is a successful leader who attains or exceeds their goals and has a sense of full control through implementing clarified processes and being the sole decision maker.
by MGMT721:GROUP 7 January 17, 2019
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attention theory of everything

Bijective theory of consciousness which states that a discrete surface area can be divided arbitrarily into an uncountable number of surface areas.
The attention theory of everything propounds that the Vikaasian set of uncountable primes is bijective to the Cantor set of uncountable functions.

Implies that a surface area is a number.

Furthermore implies that a surface area comprises a set of uncountable prime numbers, greater than the set of Godel primes.

Thus surface areas are not only prime; but prime-in-themselves.
by metawave August 21, 2020
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The John D. Theory

Any object, substance, or person has been created or built by a man/woman named John/Joan D. Whatever they created takes the place of their last name.
The John D. Theory is as follows: John D. Earth, also known as God, created the Earth.
by Kyle Ninneman February 28, 2020
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