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Go to bed about it

Response when someone’s either acting like a child complaining about their life; or when someone is being overly dramatic about a minor inconvenience. Telling them they are acting like a child needing a nap, and no one really cares about the problem.
He complained to his coworker; I went bed an hour early just to wake up and hour early!

Go to bed about it… doesn’t sound like there’s even a problem there bud.
by Darc0n7 August 16, 2025
mugGet the Go to bed about itmug.

Shit the bed

To get out of bed very early on a day where you would normally sleep in.
"You're up early! Did you shit the bed?"
by Ubeenbamboozledson November 7, 2022
mugGet the Shit the bedmug.

Bed bomb

Saturating the bed with farts so that when someone pulls back the covers to get in they get a face full of stale farts.
I like to bed bomb a girl early in our relationship, a taste of things to come.

It's a wonder you're single.
by Shuaman June 23, 2019
mugGet the Bed bombmug.

bed-spread

1.) The substance covering sheets after sex.

2.) The method by which a single sleeper can occupy an entire king size mattress.
We knocked the bottom out bae, I feel like I am in a sandwich with all this bed-spread.

I always have to sleep on the sofa, Karen is a master of bed-spreading.
by aalh October 9, 2020
mugGet the bed-spreadmug.

bed chocolate

Residual excretion in, on, or around one's mattress, which is later mistaken for crumbs of chocolate.
Willard: Bernadine shat on my dick last Thursday evening while we were sleeping.
Hobo 1: Well, that's unfortunate...
Willard : The worst part is that I thought the bed chocolate is was a piece of the candy bar that I was eating yesterday afternoon for elevenses.

Hobo 2: STANKY!
by killbo December 15, 2011
mugGet the bed chocolatemug.

Humping the bed

While usually a form of self-pleasure, you can also get a girl to ride you from behind and hump you into the bed until you climax.

My friend with benefits, a female cop, had me lie down naked, face first on her bed. She looked great in her sports bra and spandex yoga pants.

She climbed on top of my hamstrings and grabbed both of my wrists, placing them behind my back. I was so turned on at this point, my throbbing erecting was as hard as a rock and rubbing up against her silky bedsheets.

“Sorry handsome, I’m going to have to place you under arrest.” she said mockingly, handcuffing my wrists behind my back. With her weight on top of my legs, I was completely immobilized.
She placed one hand on the back of my neck, and the other on top of the cuffs keeping my wrists in place. I tried turning my head to get a good look at her, but she held my neck in place, preventing me from doing so.

“Nuh uh uh.” she said.

She proceeded to thrust her hips into my backside, causing my throbbing cock to slide along her soft, smooth bedsheets. I gasped.

“Feels good, huh?” she said, laughing.

She continued thrusting into me, holding my wrists and neck with each hand the whole time. I started moaning at how good my cock felt from rubbing her silky bedsheets, on top of the arousal of her straddling me from behind and controlling me like this.

I couldn’t take it anymore. My cock erupted like a volcano, and I felt giant waves of cum spurting out from underneath me. My entire body was quivering and twitching. She was laughing the whole time I was climaxing, getting off on it nearly as much as I was. She didn’t stop thrusting into me from behind until i finally stopped cumming about a full minute later.

After the climax subsided, I was panting for breath and too drained to move, even if I wasn’t immobilized by her cuffs and weight. She had done an amazing job of humping the bed with me.

I felt her lean forward to whisper in my ear from behind. “Wait right here… I’m going to get a riding crop, and then I’ll be back for you.”
by GirlsTyingUpGuys May 11, 2023
mugGet the Humping the bedmug.

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