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Canada's History

A descriptive term for unimpressive male sexual performance.
As in "Yeah, Doug is a nice guy...but intercourse with him is just like Canada's History - pretty short, boring and full of apologies."
by MechaStewart February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

An Anal/Vaginal sexual act involving a Moose antler, usually lubricated with maple syrup. The resulting fluid mixture is then drunk from a replica Stanley Cup with a beer.
I saw a great movie last night and learned a lot about Canada's History...Eh.
by Jacques XXX February 4, 2010
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canada's history

to lay on your back on the hide of a moose, smack yourself in the genitals repeatedly with a stanley cup, masturbate with maple syrup till you burst bloody ejaculation on yourself in the shape of an oakleaf
The lonely lumberjack with low self esteem and lots of privacy celebrated canada's history.
by Bert Ephen February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A male sneaking up behind an unsuspecting female, unsheathing his flaccid penis, and placing it on her forehead, reaching between down the eyes when done with a penis of notable length
Angela got a little Canada's History at that frat party last night
by FreakinWeekend February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

"Canada's History is cold, and not very protective from harsh elements. We should get a new one."
by Dan-was-here February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

a sexual deviation where you fill the top portion of the stanley cup with maple syrup and then dip your butt in the syrup, then (with the syrup as lube) penetrate yourself with moose antlers
Dude, have you ever tried to get through Canada's History?

I tried, but the antlers i used were too big.
by colbert nation's army February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

An extremely rare sex act involving the dug up and desecrated corpses of Samuel de Champlain, John A. Macdonald, and that bear cub who was the inspiration for Winnie the Pooh. The process takes a long time and is incredibly uninteresting for all parties involved.
Most pornographers agree Canada's history is a myth and should never be discussed or acknowledged.
by UltraChewy February 4, 2010
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