APRICOT Test 

Acronym: A.P.R.I.C.O.T

An assessment used to determine whether an individual is suitable for a relationship or not.

A: Appearance

-Strictly looks. Is said person attractive to you the assessor?
P: Personality

-Does this person offer good qualities/ character?
R: Relations

-Take friends, family, and associated people into consideration.
I: Intelligence

-Can this person preform every day activities?
C: Communications

-Can you actively express your emotions, thoughts, and qualms with this person?
T: Technicalities

-Any unique variable in their life that could make or break your relationship with this person.

"Hey bro, how is that girl you were mac'n on the other day?"

"not good, she didn't score well on the APRICOT test, so I cant wife that up."

APRICOT Test by Nighthawk&crew December 25, 2017

jonny test 

a very hot sexual act where where you rub your butt on the others butt and start farting

man i just had a hot jonny test last night with tom brady

jonny test by Matt.rac May 7, 2018

sneaker test

Relates to: free boatride plan.

Sneaker test is a non genetic update of the "one drop" test which separated out those who had even "one drop" of african blood in their ancestry to determine if they were black.

The sneaker test is not genetic but determines if you are black by how you react to being sat down and then having your sneakers taken away. If you fly into a rage get violent cry demand their immediate return or if you spent more than 160 dollars on said sneakers you are black and free boatrides are for you.
If you react like this to someone taking away your right under the 2a to defend your life against crime or tyranny with a firearm then you are a patriot or white or both. If you react this way to having your fascist worldview based on your of entitled victimhood taken away you are a progressive antifa or libtard.

The sneaker test quickly revealed Colin's roots and qualified him for a )free boatride.

sneaker test by Flush the tpp March 12, 2018

Groot Test

When you're on Tinder or another dating app and you think that you you're talking to a bot, so you message them "I AM GROOT!". If it's a bot then they will get super confused and send a generic message and if they're actually real and get the reference then they hopefully wont unmatch you.

Named after the character Groot from Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy series, who can only say "I AM GROOT". Kinda like a pokémon.

Match: Hey there, whats up?
Me: I AM GROOT!
Match: Thats so cool! Hey, follow me on my instagram, definitelynotabot21103.
Me: yeah, you failed the Groot Test.
*unmatches

Groot Test by Purveyor_of_Memes May 28, 2018

Shower test 

The shower test is a simple body fat/ body composition test for men, you can perform when you take a shower
Step 1. Stand up straight

Step 2. Look down

Step 3. If you're able to see your jewels/pubic hair then you pass. If can't see your jewels/pubic hair then you fail

The female version is slightly different, but you get the idea

Wow i didn't realize how fat i was, i failed the shower test this morning

If you failed the shower test, we need to lose some weight

Shower test by dudeinfarmville October 2, 2018

reverse test-taking 

Where you don't physically/emotionally feel up to insipidly wading through an entire 0%!$&@# textbook-article prior to taking the post-test, and so you simply take the test "first" instead of "last", skimming the book to locate just the answer to each question as you read it off from the test-sheet.

I was always a low-stamina student with short attention-span and poor concentration, so I always had to perform just the reverse test-taking method to pass my exams.

reverse test-taking by QuacksO October 5, 2018

crash test 

Smoking opium or heroin in combination with methamphetamine. Results in a very jagged effect, jittery but with a less sharp edge, manically activated and feeling invincible yet with a sense of contented well being. Commonly displaying extreme indecision coupled with impulsive action, until the meth wears off (the crash). A crash test is more uppy than is free falling, and edgier than a speedball, as the meth tends to make it more energizing (and less euphoric) than the cocaine in the other combinations. Crash testing (as well as free falling) can be considered non-injected alternatives to speedballing.

Duke: Let's see, what's in the valise ... looks like a vial of what might be speed, and a baggie of ... some manner of brownish gummy powder.
Dr Gonzo: We can crash test and go to the casino and take them for every dollar we've ever lost to them, the parasites!
Duke: If we live through it, we'll be wealthy indeed! Until the bats catch up to us!

crash test by insidiot October 27, 2018