To take someone to an asshole rodeo you first grab the asshole with your hands. Throw him/her to the ground and roll them over onto their front so their ass is up. Then, bite down the asshole's ass hard with your teeth. At this point the asshole will be going wild, screaming, trying to get you off and get up, but you've got to hang on like a real cowboy/cowgirl riding a bronco. (What you want is for the asshole to end up with your set of black and blue teeth marks on their ass for about three or four weeks.) Think about letting go after about 10-15 seconds of biting.
My girlfriend stopped answering my calls, dumped me with a text message, and made a play for my best friend. Three weeks later I saw her on the beach and took her to an asshole rodeo. It settled our affair.
by congozilla February 24, 2013
1) A person who intentionally likes being an asshole and is also careless.
2) A sketchy person whose behaviours and thoughts towards others are so careless, clumsy, stupid and irresponsible it makes them very asshole-like, even though they aren't intentionally being an asshole. Examples typically include sketchy buyers from your local classifieds, next door neighbors of your sketchy apartment complex, or some incredibly dimwitted kid at school that doesn't know shit.
2) A sketchy person whose behaviours and thoughts towards others are so careless, clumsy, stupid and irresponsible it makes them very asshole-like, even though they aren't intentionally being an asshole. Examples typically include sketchy buyers from your local classifieds, next door neighbors of your sketchy apartment complex, or some incredibly dimwitted kid at school that doesn't know shit.
1) "Man did you see that guy? He is such an asshole, but he's also very careless about his surroundings. Heard he almost got hit by a car once because he wasn't paying attention to the road."
2)
a. Bill had a buyer who bought his old phone. Next day the buyer returned the phone, claiming the screen was "cracked", when in fact it was only the screen protector that was cracked. The buyer returned Bill his money, but kept all the trivial accessories that came with the phone. The phone box had also been severely disfigured for some reason. What would be the point of keeping all those phone accessories when you have no phone? No one knows, but it was clear to Bill that the buyer didn't care about the accessories at all, she was just a complete careless asshole.
b. Johnny's next door neighbor, a pothead and a high school dropout, asked Johnny if he could stay in his apartment for a few hours as his mom kicked him out. Johnny agreed and let him chill there while he went out to eat. A few hours later he came back, finding that his couch was flipped over, his cupboards ransacked, and his vinyl collection was all over the floor with deep scratches in almost every one. The whole apartment reeked of weed, and there was another unpleasant smell coming from the washroom: his toilet seat was covered with diarrhea. "Fucking careless asshole POS..." murmured Johnny as he cleaned up the place.
2)
a. Bill had a buyer who bought his old phone. Next day the buyer returned the phone, claiming the screen was "cracked", when in fact it was only the screen protector that was cracked. The buyer returned Bill his money, but kept all the trivial accessories that came with the phone. The phone box had also been severely disfigured for some reason. What would be the point of keeping all those phone accessories when you have no phone? No one knows, but it was clear to Bill that the buyer didn't care about the accessories at all, she was just a complete careless asshole.
b. Johnny's next door neighbor, a pothead and a high school dropout, asked Johnny if he could stay in his apartment for a few hours as his mom kicked him out. Johnny agreed and let him chill there while he went out to eat. A few hours later he came back, finding that his couch was flipped over, his cupboards ransacked, and his vinyl collection was all over the floor with deep scratches in almost every one. The whole apartment reeked of weed, and there was another unpleasant smell coming from the washroom: his toilet seat was covered with diarrhea. "Fucking careless asshole POS..." murmured Johnny as he cleaned up the place.
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian September 20, 2019
An aquaintence, such as a coworker, fellow church member, etc. with whom another person maintains a mutually beneficial relationship, all the while not actually liking that person at all.
I'm going to need a few extra pens so I can take some home. I'd better ask my asshole buddy in the supply room to hook me up.
by Petrabid August 22, 2015
The coordinated team effort by all the inanimate objects around you to completely and totally fuck with a person for no apparent reason other than their own amusement.
I believe it was Mandelbrot who forgot to warn us of the Africanized bee-swarming, black cloud-ish shit storm where inanimate objects all collude to fuck with us when they're bored. It's called the asshole fractal.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 09, 2013
What gay clubbers do to insure safe clean sex. Also a bleached asshole is more asthetically pleasing to the eye than a dark brown one. After clubbing all nite long, in the closet gay clubbers want to see niceness in the starfish they are poking.
Dude: Hey those guys are pairing up over there.
Chick: I bet they have bleached assholes.
Dude: You fucking right bitch, they'z goin' to the bathroom now to scope each other's shit out.
Chick: I bet they have bleached assholes.
Dude: You fucking right bitch, they'z goin' to the bathroom now to scope each other's shit out.
by Andres Aragon Camara July 09, 2006
A crap word used by people who can't be arsed to think of better word for someone who is nearly an asshole, when they are one themself.
Tom:Oh my God you are such a borderline asshole!
Mike:You are such a boderline asshole for using that word!
Mike:You are such a boderline asshole for using that word!
by plain white t's September 02, 2007
1. The act of a peeved attorney venting about how another attorney is an asshole, douchebag, motherfucker, son-of-a-bitch, or all of the above. Typically an overprivileged Ivy Leaguer whose parents paid for their 160K+ law school expenses when they couldn't decide what to do with their overpriced and overrated poli. sci. major. Most of the time, said attorney him/herself is also an asshole, douchebag, motherfucker, or a son-of-a-bitch, but does not realize it. Said attorney is often the butt of many jokes and is frequently blocked from Facebook profiles.
2. Any enraged individual venting about something shitty that happened to them, but in an overly prudish, high-nosed manner. Typically an overprivileged, whiny little bitch with no respect for humanity.
2. Any enraged individual venting about something shitty that happened to them, but in an overly prudish, high-nosed manner. Typically an overprivileged, whiny little bitch with no respect for humanity.
1. Most of these lawyers take an editorial stance that is nothing more than an asshole airing.
2. Steve felt he was justified in chewing out the "ethnic" concierge at the Hyatt when he found a wrinkle in his J. Crew navy blazer and his BR khakis sent for dry cleaning. Little does he know that both items are fugly and exude douchebaggery. Steve stunk up the entire lobby that day when he aired his asshole. Get off your high horse, Steve, and stop mooching off your parents!
2. Steve felt he was justified in chewing out the "ethnic" concierge at the Hyatt when he found a wrinkle in his J. Crew navy blazer and his BR khakis sent for dry cleaning. Little does he know that both items are fugly and exude douchebaggery. Steve stunk up the entire lobby that day when he aired his asshole. Get off your high horse, Steve, and stop mooching off your parents!
by SCROTUS BRIEF January 13, 2010