cock touching roach

a cockroach that happens to be sitting on one's towel when one attempts to dry one's genitals (or anus).

when the unfortunate insect comes into contact with the area in question, immediate squashage will usually result, causing the present death of the violative cockroach.

you may need to have another shower after you have come into contact with the cock touching roach.

There was a cock touching roach sitting on my towel, he is dead now.

by stiastyles June 20, 2007

touchaphobic

the fear of touching someone, or having someone touch you

"i think it's amazing now you two are so touchaphobic. i've dated a bunch of people, and none of my relationships have ever been like that"

by steve carroll January 22, 2005

Touches kids

Any object, event or other thing that is so awful, so unpleasant or of such poor quality that if it were a person it would actually interfere with small children.

"Hey Bob, have you heard Pink's new album?"

"No way Joey, she's fucking shit. ALL her music touches kids".

Typically used when something is so bad it not only sucks cock and blows goats, it touches kids as well.

by Fryer MarsBar May 9, 2009

touching the turtle

Female masturbation

Big Texas Hair is sitting in her cubical touching the turtle. I heard her moans and now I want to wash my ears out with bleach.

Your girlfriend looks really happy.
Yeah, we were in the other room, playing touch the turtle.

by happy_turtle July 8, 2010

Touch grass

Something League of Legends players can’t do

Stop playing League and touch grass

by moistcr1tikalfan May 10, 2022

treetops are touching the ground

When you become older and your chest starts to sag.

"Jeez Maybelle, my treetops used to reach for the sun and now my treetops are touching the ground."

by Becs The Secretary May 30, 2006

touch base

Saying that you'll "touch base" with someone is really just a fancy or more professional-sounding way of saying: "I'll make sure to bother you about this later."

It's a term that generally only white people use or that you only use when speaking to white people or that you only use when trying to sound white. Either way, if anyone is "touching base" with anyone else, white people have to be involved somehow.

Laura: "OK, now that we have an initial plan for Friday, I'll touch base with you tomorrow to make sure no issues have come up between now and then."

Tom: "Laura, we're just going to be hanging out at the mall. Stop being so freaking white about it!"

by A Pair of Onions February 28, 2011