Any object, event or other thing that is so awful, so unpleasant or of such poor quality that if it were a person it would actually interfere with small children.
"Hey Bob, have you heard Pink's new album?"

"No way Joey, she's fucking shit. ALL her music touches kids".

Typically used when something is so bad it not only sucks cock and blows goats, it touches kids as well.
by Fryer MarsBar May 9, 2009
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Kids who have parents who are more involved with their cell phones than their kids. Absentee Parenting. Related to the 1980's "Latch Key Kid" that came home after school to an empty house because both parents had to work.

Ignore the kids because you can't put your cell phone down.
The worst is when I see parents out with their kids and both parents are looking at their phones. Poor little Touch Tone Kid.
by MsPms February 25, 2014
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