Townies are scum! No, seriously for one moment. A typical townie will be in their teens, ranging from Mini Townies in their child sized tracksuits, to adults who should god damn know better.
They tend to wear the brand name Ecko, which isn't spelt correctly because townies don't own a dictionary. This tracksuit comes in a range of colors including white, blue and grey. Or, if you don't want to splash out a quick trip to the market will help some poor stall owner offload a load of pink velour trousers he has had stored in the back of his van for two years. These must be emblazened with the word "Biatch" across the arse in sequins, which due to the shitty quality will all drop off within ten minutes.
the females of the species must have a Belly button barmade out of the finest plastic and purchased from Claires accessories, which will no doubt cause their stomach to turn septic. They must have their hair GLUED to their head, because god forbid a bit of hair might fall loose, ruining their greasy stuck down look. Of course though, they have to tie their hair back to hide the three inch dark roots that are protruding from their peroxide blonde hair.
The guys will have their hair cleverly spiked using so much gel that it's a great wonder they aren't bald, and will don a nice, big, diamonte earring, purchased for £3 from argos.
The male and female tend to stick together as love interests to avoid having a baby in the future that may turn out anywhere near individual. Unfortunatly for us, the furutr is very near, because it's the latest accessory to have a baby. The baby will no doubt have some monstrosity of a name such as Corgette, or to the like, because the parents want their child to have a name thats "different". They never considered however, that this child will be haunted by that choice all their life. Not to mention the fact the baby is going to have seven bells of shit kicked from them because all their clothes come from Oxfam as their teenage parents are frittering away their money on ciggarettes.
The final way though, to spot a townie, is the attitude. THE THINK THEY RULE. They look down on anyone with even an ounce of intelligence, and they think they can talk to anyone like shit. Well sorry Mr. Townie, that won't wash with me.
They tend to wear the brand name Ecko, which isn't spelt correctly because townies don't own a dictionary. This tracksuit comes in a range of colors including white, blue and grey. Or, if you don't want to splash out a quick trip to the market will help some poor stall owner offload a load of pink velour trousers he has had stored in the back of his van for two years. These must be emblazened with the word "Biatch" across the arse in sequins, which due to the shitty quality will all drop off within ten minutes.
the females of the species must have a Belly button barmade out of the finest plastic and purchased from Claires accessories, which will no doubt cause their stomach to turn septic. They must have their hair GLUED to their head, because god forbid a bit of hair might fall loose, ruining their greasy stuck down look. Of course though, they have to tie their hair back to hide the three inch dark roots that are protruding from their peroxide blonde hair.
The guys will have their hair cleverly spiked using so much gel that it's a great wonder they aren't bald, and will don a nice, big, diamonte earring, purchased for £3 from argos.
The male and female tend to stick together as love interests to avoid having a baby in the future that may turn out anywhere near individual. Unfortunatly for us, the furutr is very near, because it's the latest accessory to have a baby. The baby will no doubt have some monstrosity of a name such as Corgette, or to the like, because the parents want their child to have a name thats "different". They never considered however, that this child will be haunted by that choice all their life. Not to mention the fact the baby is going to have seven bells of shit kicked from them because all their clothes come from Oxfam as their teenage parents are frittering away their money on ciggarettes.
The final way though, to spot a townie, is the attitude. THE THINK THEY RULE. They look down on anyone with even an ounce of intelligence, and they think they can talk to anyone like shit. Well sorry Mr. Townie, that won't wash with me.
Townie: Whatcha Lukin at ya minga
Normal Human: Sorry?
T: SHUT UP B4 I GET MA CREW ONTA YA
N: I beg your pardon
T: FUCK YO MAMA
Normal Human: Sorry?
T: SHUT UP B4 I GET MA CREW ONTA YA
N: I beg your pardon
T: FUCK YO MAMA
by Lil Emmie July 28, 2005
Get the townie mug.A purpose built bicycle for the around-town-commuter. A "sweet townie" would have lights, racks, bell, bags, lock, fenders, etc. Most townies are a mix of function and fun. Often having many purely stylish additions as well.
"Her townie has flames on the fenders and the leather saddle."
"My townie has a 'hoola-girl' on the handlebars."
"My townie has a 'hoola-girl' on the handlebars."
by Fish October 15, 2004
Get the townie mug.Townies think there so 'ard' and the queer lads wit trackies hit girls!!
Do ur bit to clean up the streets KILL a townie!!
p.s burn in hell fuckin townies
Do ur bit to clean up the streets KILL a townie!!
p.s burn in hell fuckin townies
townie: 'oi slut'
me: 'yer, ok'
townie: 'y u getin lairy u wana fite or wot??'
me: 'wot eva jus get a life!!'
(realises how sad it is and runs to get big brother)
me: 'yer, ok'
townie: 'y u getin lairy u wana fite or wot??'
me: 'wot eva jus get a life!!'
(realises how sad it is and runs to get big brother)
by natalie September 12, 2004
Get the townie mug.entry #239 has illustrated perfectly why "townies" are considered ignorant and abusive.
well done in making such a postive case for your sub-culture.
I just hope that you will offer better arguments as a lawyer than you have on here.
well done in making such a postive case for your sub-culture.
I just hope that you will offer better arguments as a lawyer than you have on here.
by someone who has a job September 19, 2004
Get the townie mug.a townie is a person who will "fuckin' 'ave ya" if you make eye contact for more then 1 second. Will either listen to drum 'n' bass or garage and not give other music a second thought. Will travel in, smallest to largest, pair, gang, posse and massive. Could also be known as a chav or a mush.
Normally hang around on street corners or outside one stop, asking 16+ to buy them fags.
Normally hang around on street corners or outside one stop, asking 16+ to buy them fags.
Townie: oi, dickhead, are you startin?
Human being: no, i'm just walking past you.
Townie: wotever, yo' mums a slag, lets get'im.
(proceed to "'ave" person and leggit when a car drives nearby)
Human being: no, i'm just walking past you.
Townie: wotever, yo' mums a slag, lets get'im.
(proceed to "'ave" person and leggit when a car drives nearby)
by bootyhunter October 25, 2004
Get the townie mug.Fucking annoying gits that Swindon is full of. Can't say one sentence without using at least 1 form of obscenity, kinda like the Osborne's but much more pathetic. Most annoying is the stupid Cockney accents they all seem to put on - argh! You find yourself wanting to punch them frequently and you only gotta look at them to know what they're like. Most of them do have kids by the time their 15 and the dads have always pissed off somewhere. Swindon has a real high teen pregnancy rate, I wonder why...
by purple_horizon February 28, 2004
Get the townie mug.A person that thinks unprovoked attacks on "goffs and dirty gwebs" makes them cool. Someone that thinks schreaching loudly while trying to bring the front wheel of his (stolen) bike down on a dogs back, causing the dog to run, terrified, onto a road infront of a car, just because the dog is owned by a "dirty bag of greb s**t" is funny. Someone who pretends they're "well ard" by laughing nervously while running away when an angry "goff" girl tells them they'll be getting the vet bill. Someone who thinks beating up girls makes them "well 'ard". Someone who thinks everyone else needs and wants fashion tips. Someone who mistakenly thinks that they are and should be respected by all. In short: A d**kh**d.
by Trip April 21, 2004
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