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An old, time-honored management technique in large corporations.

1. Keep your employees in the dark.
2. Feed them shit.
3. When they grow up, cut them off at the roots.
The CEO of XYZ Corp is a big believer in the mushroom theory of management.
by Hot Licks July 21, 2020
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The M Theory

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Potential partners who have a name starting with the letter “M” are likely to to be attractive, funny, and kind. Current science is limited but it’s believed they have an enzyme that is generated in their system that called the builtdifferentezine that allows for this condition to take shape. It’s often suggested one pursues a date of some kind or the contact information of an “M” specimen to further investigate this unusual condition.
Oh his name is Marcelese? Here’s my number, give it to him and tell him I want to grab coffee sometime! I need to test the M Theory
by BLACK-MAN December 24, 2020
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The Accordion Theory

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The theory that states that the universe as we know it all rests on one giant accordion, played by a transcendent figure, or “god.” “The Big Bang” was actually just the accordion beginning to expand. We know that the universe is expanding, but we don’t know why. The accordion theory explains this. As they accordion expands outwards, so does the universe. Once the accordion moves back inwards, the universe will collapse, and begin to shrink. Once the accordion fully closes, the universe will be gone. Once it opens again, the universe will be recreated from the Big Bang again, and repeat everything all over in the same exact order.

History repeats itself.
Yo, The Accordion Theory actually kind of makes sense. Got more weed?
by ThirstyThurston February 2, 2021
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The L Theory

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The L theory is a scientific theory that states the following: Anybody with a name starting with the letter L is a cutie. This theory has been confirmed as of September 1888.
The L theory applies to every L except her... not her..
by Lennitth September 15, 2021
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The Jolie Theory

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when you watch over 200 films in the span of 3 months and you have an obsession with reviewing them on letterboxd
my friend called me crazy for following The Jolie Theory when honestly i’m just superior to them in every way tbh
by fanistonnn March 13, 2022
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The Ceren Theory

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when you can’t decide if you want an actor *dead or alive* as a family member or someone you want to *redacted* you! 😫 examples include : cary grant or jennifer aniston.

or you just like using this 😏 emoji.
god I think The Ceren Theory has gotten to me!!!
by fanistonnn March 13, 2022
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The Ella Theory

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when you’re the straightest of the group but have a thing for a woman named zooey or you’re in a discord group that watches movies BUT NEVER JOINS IN TO WATCH THE MOVIES!!!
you’ve also been kicked out of faniston twitter 😏
The Ella Theory is honestly the most unproblematic and most simple theory!
by fanistonnn March 13, 2022
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