toothpaste wank

adventurous gentleman seeking self pleasure while showering applies a generous amount of toothpaste with hand before bashing the bishop .
( also known as mint cock )

That man's being a cock womble

hasn't left is nuts alone for 5 minutes .
probably had a toothpaste wank this morning .

toothpaste wank may lead to crotch smelling of mint

by Trentbridge Troll July 29, 2015

Crocodile Wank

The term used to define the act of male masturbation using tears as lubrication, be they your fresh or previously collected, your own or someone else's.

Nathan was understandably extremely upset when informed that we were running late to meet him. we were later informed that he took himself off for a Crocodile wank in private upon hearing the news, to both ease the pain but also put it to good use.

by Tyamm January 6, 2017

tropical wank

Masturbating, while sitting down in the shower. Spray cold water for a couple of minutes. After that you turn on the heat making the room humid. The key is to close your eyes and imagine you are sitting under a waterfall in Thailand.

Oh shit ! Chris flooded his hotel room again, he must have been having a tropical wank

by Winfield Green June 4, 2017

Prussian Wank

When you wank to the pace of a march, such as Preussens Gloria, with precise and measured strokes. You may only fire once your officer orders you to.

I just had a prussian wank to Königgrätzer Marsch with the rest of the Aspergers' Group!

by anonymous April 10, 2020

Dank Wank

Getting really high and then jacking off.

“Bro I had such a good dank wank last night.”
“Dude, nice.”

by SmoothKemosabe December 19, 2020

wank holiday

A self-imposed period of refraining from masturbation , usually brought on by a combination of guilt and self loathing, and/or wrist cramps, or unexpectedly finding yourself with a girlfriend.

A wank holiday usually only lasts a day at most.

Mike's wrists were starting to ache again, so he decided to go on a wank holiday.

by Ben Dover Of The Yard May 20, 2006

Misery Wank

To wank profusely in a corner, not even wanting to, whilst visualising all your dead relatives looking down on you saying "is this what we lived our lives for ? A grown man wanking like a monkey in a room ? You cry whilst doing this because of the guilty pleasure. A bottle of Gin and tears are the secret ingredient.

I really didn't want to but when i went home after visiting my elderly neighbour, i had a misery wank......i didn't want to though, i promise !!

by Kingbot December 30, 2008