50 shades of Grey

A book written by some author who clearly hasn't gotten any in a while. In the book, a naïve little bitch named Anastasia Steele, likes to have sex with Christian Grey, who likes to have lots of kinky, hot, dirty sex, and even though she doesn't really like it all that much, she decides to stay with him for a while. They have sex in the tub and in the bedroom and pretty much everywhere, the book is basically about two people having nasty, naughty sex. The sex scenes are boring however, because Ana talks like a little innocent Mary Sue virgin, who acts reluctant instead of moaning like a good girl and an obedient little whore. I don't know, one of my friends showed me some scenes in the book, and they were pretty boring.

Here's a typical sex scene from 50 shades of Grey:

Ana (thinking): He's so hot! I must have him, I wonder what he'll do

Chris: Okay bitch, come here.

Ana: Okay
Chris (whips ana with something).
Ana thinks: This is just the beginning, it'll be over, I should enjoy this but I don't
Chris: Yeah....Now suck my cock
Ana: Okay (thinks) is this the good part, I'm hoping I do a good job, I wouldn't want him to leave me. Yes, I think it's good, he seems pleased, his dick is still hard, so in health class, that means he's excited. I wonder what will happen next
Chris: Good girl, good girl
Ana: (thinks) Yes... once more.

The book would have been more exciting if it had went like this.

Ana (spread eagle): Alright Chris, do whatever you like. (Shakes ass)
Chris: (Takes belt and hits ana with it) How you like that, bitch.
Ana: Yeah, do it again! I love that, hit that ass, hit that pussy!
Chris: Suck my cock bitch!
Ana: Gladly, mmm, yummy cock.

Chris: Moans, good girl, suck harder
Ana: Yeahhhhh.

The book would have been more entertaining to read if the scenes had been written like this. I apologize if I made you get hard.

by Trajayjay June 25, 2013

sharded

When you go to fart and a little shit comes out instead

Lets go man I just Sharded in my pants!!

by Tyler Durden January 31, 2004

Wearing the shades

When someone has suddenly become very cool, and slick.

Or when in a relationship, the cooler person of the two.

"Look who's wearing the shades now!!"

"I'm wearing the shades in this relationship"

by ThatKidDanYol March 28, 2010

Pull the shades

The act of lowering the window shades so people walking by outside can't see you masturbating.

Has become synonymous with the act of masturbating, to where simply saying you "pulled the shades" means you rubbed one out.

College Guy 1: Hey man, you wanna go get some food?
College Guy 2: I can't right now.
College Guy 1: Why the fuck not?
College Guy 2: Because I'm about to pull the shades, man!!

by Sebastian Haff August 14, 2009

Fifty Shades of Grey

Bad fanfiction written by a 14 year old girl based off of Twilight categorized as "Mommy Porn".

Did you read Fifty Shades of Grey?

by Ciararocks1000 June 27, 2012

Shade Dr.

a street in Ellenwood known for drug saleing and dealing. known for selling marijuana, X pills, and xanax.

person 1: man i juz got me sum X pills and purp for da low low on Shade Dr.
person 2: i know i bought sum xanax from der da otha day

by Lil Trapper July 22, 2008

shadeup

The definition of shaeup is a south slang word that was created by me in dallas texas , the definition is wearing shades (typical the relly dark ones) on with an i dont give a fuck attitude ..even if its dark outside you will wear em because if u are
"1 deep" (or roll alone) with this you are showing that you prefer being in the dark than cum out the light ..because the lihgt is were all the haters be at is were the ignorant motherfuckers hang in were all the hoes are..
if u are from texas and u listen to trae , z-ro etc you will know what im talkin about.

I was in my crib chillin thinkin about how there are too many haters in this world ..and as soon it was dark outside i shadeup and got in to ma slab and rolled alone and went to kick it with my real freinds..drink smoke party wutever ...

by dtown_mexplex May 17, 2008