Covid-👻

When diehard party-goers who superstitiously believe that the coronavirus is scared of ghosts are required by the authorities to wear a “frightening” mask to remind onlookers that the virus won’t take a break just because it is Halloween.

Unlike Muslim-majority countries that ban Halloween because it is against Islamic teachings, a number of Western nations are allowing the “infidel“ festival to proceed provided the organizers strictly enforce Covid-👻 rules.

by MathPlus October 30, 2020

COVID-3

When you rent out a 3 bed hotel room and have a threesome in three separate beds (because social distancing) where you can’t touch your partners but can touch yourself while you look at them.

Seán: “Man, I had the best COVID-3 last night!”

Bully: “No you didn’t, virgin.”

Seán: “I know :(

by NotSean123 August 3, 2020

Covided

Using a fake pandemic to get out of anything that you don't want to do.

"Bitch on Tinder just covided me."
"Trump successfully covided a tax scam by contracting, then defeating a fake virus."

by Fast Phily October 7, 2020

COVID-19

The worst fucking thing on the planet that hasn't been arrested even though it has killed many people

Person 1: Hey!

Person 2: Hey! Have you heard about this new Virus that is destroying our lives???
Person 1: Ummm...Yeah because I am not a DUMBASS

Person 2: Oh really then what is it called?!?
Person 1: COVID-19 YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!

by Volleyball girl July 23, 2020

COVID-19

A viral infection that ruined 2020

I HATE COVID-19

by Darkness666 November 2, 2020

Covid filter

The protective discomfort that comes from viewing pre-Covid television shows and movies through the lens of currently necessary social/physical distancing and mask-wearing. Feeling distracted or distressed by characters that share food and drinks, talk closely, don't distance or wear masks.

I had a hard time turning off my Covid filter when watching Dirty Dancing. Everybody was just too close together and breathing each other's air.

by cchat November 21, 2020

Trump caused Covid

The bullshit idea that it's Trump's fault for COVID, not only ignoring the fact that recently the CDC discovered that only 6% of counted COVID deaths were actually COVID deaths, but the fact that it was due to the fact that many governors did things that Trump had no control over, such as the fact that Governor Cuomo sent old people to die in state nursing homes, deaths which helped cover up, while attacking Trump, and furthermore, Trump signed the largest stimulus bill in US history to help, oh and there's also the fact that overall, Trump had no effect on the decision of the state governments, considering that the US has a federal system where the states can decide for themselves what policies to have, so even Trump putting out guidelines still didn't mean that all governors had to follow them. Overall, everything is mainly reliant on the states.

Leftist dumbass: Trump caused Covid Haha Cuomo is such a good boy he should run for president he cares about covid and climate change and he stands up to Trump
Anyone with any IQ over room temperature: Did you know that Cuomo sent old people to die in New York nursing homes and also the fact that he helped cover up deaths afterwards? Oh and consider the fact that he shut down 2 reactors at the clean and powerful Indian point Nuclear power plant, as a result of which reliance on carbon dioxide emitting natural gas increased.

Leftist dumbass: (AOL noises) Orange man bad! He is literally *Insert average movie dictator* and we are *Insert generic hollywood rebel* !

by Gaylordgangster69 September 16, 2020