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flippin' wood

When a man with a flaccid penis negotiates a price for its use before becoming hard so that the buyer does not know the actual size of the erect penis.
Bitch thought I was a grower and paid me 60$ for a quick fuck. The cunt asked me for a refund once I surprised her with my tiny dick. Flippin' wood is hard, but how else am I supposed to support my wife and kids?
by annerdasaurus November 23, 2015
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Knock on wood

A playful yet gentle word describing the way the world takes the time to visually interpret the act of penetrating trees and foliage with one's erect penis.
India's tolerance regarding Knock on Wood was said to have decreased their population growth in the years 2020 to 2024.
by Pattifil August 2, 2022
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wood slap

Eating oneself happy - mainly through crisps and cock.
Man that boy is fat.... he is bang on wood slap
by robgreen June 8, 2009
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Chopping wood

A term for jacking it off in the woods. Can also be a term for mastering while small children are watching.
by Ianisanoggod December 7, 2016
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Petrified Wood

a.k.a. erectile dysfunction. When a chub is too frightened (petrified) to cum out.
Vajona Jackson was ready for a hot night of boner-rockin' but her man's unit was too scared to go into the dark. Therefore, his petrified wood "layed" low, unable to rise and shine.
by vajona jackson-hewitt August 22, 2011
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wood sores

the serious consequences of being poor white trash, (usually a roman catholic family of 10 kids or more) having to remove splinters,caused from making a worn out couch your bed for two or more years, from the lower back or even the taint region.
After being molested by the couch, i had wood sores for 3 weeks.
by cut throat committee December 13, 2008
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plain wood

When you're girlfriend gives you head, without any flavor or lotion. Flavor, basically. Like you know all those sex shops give you flavors an stuff. Like your girlfriend said last week. It's gross without strawberry.
I gave my boyfriend plain wood, but then I was like, this shit tastes gross!
by Dr.Claw! July 7, 2017
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