Shrek is love Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

"Shrek is love Shrek is life"

by Captainrex July 20, 2017

Your mum gay lol

Your mum gay lol is possibly the GREATEST playground insult of all time. With this insult you can end someone’s playground roasting career, even their life. Sometimes comboed with a LOLXD or a savage dab at the end for maximum roast levels

Billy: yo your so gay man
Jeremy: yeah well, your mum gay lol **savage dab**
Billy: oh sorry Jeremy I’m gonna end my roasting career and hang myself on the monkey bars

by Itsyaboyhughman February 13, 2018

lone rider

Someone who genuinely prefers to be on their own than in a relationship and may have never had one. They like having friends but could easily cut them from their life if needs be and move on. However sometimes lone riders like to feel needed but once shit gets serious they disappear.

Boy: I want to be with you

Girl: we're better as friends

Boy: your impossible

Girl: I'm a lone rider

by Bountyhunter November 22, 2014

lol banes

lol banes is a more street way of saying laugh out loud. The name "banes" can also be used for close friends, or friends you have lots of banter with.

guy1: did you hear that guys funny story?!
guy 2: yeah, I know! lol banes!!

or

girl 1: Banes, I've missed you so much!
girl 2: Omg, I missed you more banes!

by I'm a banes worm January 12, 2018

lol do funnt

This controversial quote is said to be found in the Instagram comments, but it is never confirmed. Some say you have to have an IQ of over 350 or you have to be a bit special in the head to be able to understand this quote. This quote can be used as an insult or to even point out that something is funny. Better luck next year in Sturt

*sees an Instagram post on a unknown fanpage
*proceeds to comment lol do funnt

*sees that he has written the comment wrong

*cries himself to sleep

*wakes up knowing how downie he was to comment it
Next day at school
*Joey kicks a ball into someones head

Johnny "lol do funnt xD"

*Fred proceeds to get very angry about people teasing him about saying lol do funnt then proceeds to scream "lol do fuck off!"

by Marget_Hall June 11, 2018

louistomlinsonsexual

A person who is attracted to louis tomlinson maybe harry styles, think that louis is a perfect human. This person is feeding by louis tomlinson

harry styles might say i am louistomlinsonsexual because he simp for louis tomlinson

by londonquitebiig January 6, 2021

Love Virgin

Someone who hasn't ever been truly in love and has patiently waited for the right person to fall in love with. They are an emotional "virgin" meaning they have never loved passionately or gone through a heartbreak.

Jessica: Hey how's it going with that Keith guy?

Anna: He's awesome but I just found out he is not a love virgin!

by mi_hellraiser April 25, 2022