pizza scale

When the ends of the scale of a thing measures from acceptable to exceptional, because no matter what, you still have the thing.

Damn, my favourite takeaway is taking forever!
It's ok, dude. Pizza scale.

by kittiekommittee July 25, 2023

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Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:

0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual

The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.

I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?

There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.

by bitchuck August 24, 2024

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Hotness Scale

Thing that determines how hot a girl is using the numbers 1-10, 1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest.

Things that can earn her points:
- Being physically attractive
- Having a job
- Having a great personality
- Having little to no sex partners
- Thinking you’re sexy

Things that can lose her points:
- Being physically unattractive
- Not having a job
- Having a bad attitude

- Having lots of sex partners

That girl looks okay, but she’s cool as shit. So that moves her up from being a 5, to about an 8 or a 9 on the hotness scale.

That girls is hot as fuck. But her problem is she knows it. So that moves her down from being a 10 to being maybe a 2 or a 3.

by SiL3Nt J September 21, 2023

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