Wooden Spoon Speed

Wooden Spoon Speed is the speed at which a child runs at while being persued by said childs enraged parent.

any person can run at wooden spoon speed.

after lil jonny broke the window, he ran at wooden spoon speed to hide under his bed.

by JehovahsWittnessProtectionUnit April 12, 2010

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Wooden Leg Syndrome

Inability to gauge the onset of intoxication until the commencement of blackout. Typically, individuals focus on the future drink and hurry through the drink in hand in order to enjoy the next.

"Did you see Ryan last night? His Wooden Leg Syndrome was out in full force. He must have topped off right before the face plant/bloody mess."

by thetruthhurts.com November 28, 2009

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wearing wooden pants

walking around with a hardon all the time

I go to the club and see all that fine ass,makes me walk around wearing wooden pants

by woodpile January 20, 2010

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The act of having sex with a woman on the sill of a window, preferably a wooden framed one, but with a fun twist. After a good amount of thrusting, the woman proceeds to shit profusely against the window's glass. The man then moves on to the "waxing" which consists of rubbing the poo all around the glass in a circular motion with the woman's ass. The ramming continues throughout this process until the deed is done and the window has a nice "wooden wax" shine to it.

Jeremy: "Hey Alex, let's go wooden window waxing at the local Stop and Shop!"
Alex: "What a splendid idea, let's go!"

by Icecreaman January 17, 2007

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wooden spoon wife

An ugly spouse. The opposite of a trophy wife. From the British tradition of awarding a wooden spoon to someone finishing last in a competition. Something to be ashamed of.

Jim just got married. Is she attractive? No she's a wooden spoon wife

by Jebby3 August 9, 2009

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