Television

Quite possibly the worst invention ever. Abbreviated to T.V. People sit in front of it, then lights and sound come out of it, penetrating the person's mind and causing them to trancend in to a vegetable state. The television then proceeds to drain them of all energy, will to move, and thought capacity. It is evil and inhuman and shouldn't be a part of any household. If you already have one, don't worry! You can do any of these things to get rid of your television.

a. Sell it online
b. Light it on fire
c. Throw your DVD player through the screen (Killing two birds with one stone here...)

As Carl sat in front of the television, his head became mind numbingly blank.

by twinwoodsman October 29, 2010

Televisionary

A "born to be on TV" visionary who appears on television regularly, delivering messages that fall into her (his) mind from the dead.

There are no good ones on TV, yet.

by Mary Torre Kelly September 3, 2005

Television

Where the imagination is sucked out of children by a cathode ray nipple.
TV is the only wet nurse that would create a cripple.

Quote from the song Television, Drug of the nation by Disposable heroes of Hipcriosy.

Let's Watch The Television!
(3 hours later)
Man, my head hurts. I need a Hummer!
(3 hours later)
TV set: So, Denounce intelligence and reading and resort to 24 hour SHIT!

by BKLD June 19, 2007

Television

The very reason why people are so fat. Maybe they need to get out and actually get a life and do something productive with their life instead of wasting it away on a couch getting uglier.

Guy 1: Man, i gained 10 pounds in the last week. (as hes watching tv)
Guy 2: Stop watching so much television, fat ass. (leaves the room)

by ParisHBarbie February 20, 2011

television

Like the asshole said ... It's for Americans ... not imports from asshole producing cunt-trees

Asshole English speaking assholes that ain't American don't watch TV ... can't afford it!!!

by anonymous April 25, 2005

television

A source of good and bad media!!!!! Unfortunately, as humans we have no choice but to watch the idiot box!!!!! It consumes 85% of our entire lives!!!!!! We have to watch television for 85% of each of our lives because that is the ultimate equalizer!!!!!

I am going to sit down and watch TV, I'm sorry television, for the rest of my fucking 85% entire LIFE!!!!

by Just another ordinary person June 20, 2013

Television

A great thing for when you're just sitting around. Informative, therapeutic, and uplifting; has the uncanny ability to bring people together and suppress depression. Generally hated by people with no lives. Is an outstanding way to get the full scoop from credible news sources in keeping up with current events, the most compelling advertisements, as well as gathering a accurate and coherent world view.

Yea, I'm just sittin here watching Television

by bluefire669 August 24, 2011