jonathan hedman is a really nice guy. He is often seen stoned or taking hits of his minifit ( vape or juul). He will laugh at all your jokes or even just to fill a silence. He is extremely funny and will leave you in a fit of laughter. He is an incredibly good kisser. When hes not playing cs, fortnite or grounded, you will see him on his scooter.
person 1: " have you seen, Jonathan Hedman lately?"
person 2:"yeah, i saw him on his scooter with his juul yesterday."
person 1:"really? im surprised he wasnt high."
person 2:"me too."
person 2:"yeah, i saw him on his scooter with his juul yesterday."
person 1:"really? im surprised he wasnt high."
person 2:"me too."
by samisawesomexd February 24, 2019
Get the jonathan hedman mug.Useless at best, causing severe damage at worst. Similar to saying, "As much use as a bull in a china shop."
Guy 1: Damn it... My sister ruined my school project again.
Guy 2: Wow. She's as much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory.
Guy 2: Wow. She's as much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory.
by Ur waifu June 7, 2016
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A type of investment fund with very high fees for investors and a focus on complex financial derivatives. Hedge funds charge around 20% of returns (sometimes a lot more) plus a flat fee of typically 2%.
Originally hedge funds were based on the concept of risk hedging; high-yield investments are always riskier than low-yield ones, so a fund manager could presumably put all the money in one instrument with enormous risk and hope for the best. That is, to put it bluntly, insane. So the manager uses a strategy of hedging risk as cheaply as possible, such as a very elaborate combination of derivatives that rise in value if the main asset declines in value.
Hedge funds are organized to be very exclusive, requiring a very long commitment and limited membership. The managers are much more daring and will take much more aggressive risks than mutual funds.
Originally hedge funds were based on the concept of risk hedging; high-yield investments are always riskier than low-yield ones, so a fund manager could presumably put all the money in one instrument with enormous risk and hope for the best. That is, to put it bluntly, insane. So the manager uses a strategy of hedging risk as cheaply as possible, such as a very elaborate combination of derivatives that rise in value if the main asset declines in value.
Hedge funds are organized to be very exclusive, requiring a very long commitment and limited membership. The managers are much more daring and will take much more aggressive risks than mutual funds.
The largest hedge fund company is JP MorganChase.
During the first decade of the '00's, hedge funds outperformed most other asset classes. But when they melt down, like LTCM in 1997, it can be a huge event.
During the first decade of the '00's, hedge funds outperformed most other asset classes. But when they melt down, like LTCM in 1997, it can be a huge event.
by Sorry, the good guys lost September 4, 2010
Get the hedge fund mug.A comedian who happened to be the funniest person ever to walk the earth. Died earlier this year...and the world has been unfunny ever since. He was about to to a special on HBO that would have been fuckin' awesome...but now...it will never happen. Go figure...everyone who ever does something good for the world dies before they hit 30.
by Sgt. Pepper May 10, 2005
Get the Mitch Hedberg mug.So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny
by Mitch March 31, 2005
Get the mitch hedberg mug.The funniest guy you'll ever meet, smart , talented and good at almost everything he does , also a loyal friend and a faithful partner
by Bitchbeforeal April 10, 2020
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