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evangelical atheist

An individual who is actually egocentric and arrogant enough to believe that they can disprove god's existence. They harbor intense hatred and resentment for all religious organizations. But reserve most of their bile for any Christian who would dare to publicly espouse his beliefs. And so begins the crusade for justice and reason. Someone has to reach out to these ignorant believers. To open their eyes to how meaningless life really is.

However, due to the fact that EA have very little social skills, and even less testicles; engaging a believer in face to face debate is generally not possible. It would require them to venture out of their parents basement into the sunlight to talk to someone who might make them question their own beliefs and motivations. Therefore they take the fight to the web. Where they far outnumber the faithful who generally have jobs, families and lives.

Often lifelong singles (marriage is a religious institution and requires a willing partner) males of the species masturbate bitterly to humiliation porn. Because feeling dirty inside is better than feeling nothing. While the females turn to collecting cats and plastering their car with Darwin stickers in the mistaken belief that people read them. Not to be confused with the less common atheist. Who simply doesn't believe in god and does not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Entirely separate genus from the agnostic who are secure enough in their own self worth to admit they don't know.
The atheist laughed and shot a bird as he drove past the "Pro-life" rally at the abortion clinic. Then forgot about it five minutes later. The evangelical atheist honked his horn, shot a bird, shouted obscenities and spent 3 hours fantasizing about going back and running them all down. But lacked the requisite testicles to actually do so.
by VillageTwittiot November 24, 2013
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evangelical

A sect of christianity that is full of mindless, brainwashed followers who spend their entire life in misery when they aren't spreading the gospel. The whole sect is full of middle class/rich white folks who want to go to church to be entertained by crying, hysterical preachers and find new prejudices to be in support of. They believe that their religion is the only way of life and refuse to accept any other ways. There is no 'conversation' with evangelicals...they only convert. BEWARE.
President Bush is an evangelical christian. Need I say more on why he seems so mindless and stupid?
by MichealJBlyth September 23, 2005
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Evangeline

ARAAGGAGAGAGAGAGGA GARARARRAARRARARA AARATRARARSTARARRARAR ARAGAGAGGA i am Evangeline and I jus bit yor hand
Jon: “Jezuz fuckin christ Evangeline be goin batshit rite now”

Ella: “just wait a while, she gets like this when she hasn’t had her adderall
by epicinator October 1, 2021
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Social Evangelist

A person that speaks to his audience in a bias manner with the purpose to intrigue and captivate. The sole objection is to gain the attention and support of the group in order to infect them with his or her ideology. Usually, by successfully selling through or pitching his or her ideals and strategies in turn infected members then carry this ideology in a viral manner to the masses or population. The social evangelist, in hopes of reaping the rewards of the viral effect then creates or enlist a system and puts him or herself at the top in order to reap the most benefit, predominantly monetary.

The person will create a circa of close knit companions based on rewards, affection and attention. The audience or crowd is expected to grow in and exponential rate to capital gain. Giving the person validity in the form of material or monetary growth. Victims of this sort of negative scheme (schematic) are seen as targets, pigeons or just plain followers.

Much in the manner of Evangelist 2.0 they use internet start-ups and similar forms of mass media to present and harvest capital. Modern Social Evangelist are born of the internet boom and mid 2000 financial recession. As the need to convert digital products into assets became known as monetization.
The Social Evangelist walked about the video broadcast in order to present himself and his ideas to the captivated audience.
by Yadihi May 27, 2013
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Urban Dictionary Evangelist

Someone who posts extremely biased definitions on urban dictionary for no other purpose than promoting their pet ideology. This can include a glowingly positive definition of something they believe in, or more often, a hateful definition of something they disagree with.
The definitions for controversial subjects like religion have been taken over by Urban Dictionary Evangelists.
by Boredman April 15, 2015
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evangelist 2.0

1) Those who use the internet and similar forms of mass media to present their ideologies and similar, usually with the aim of conversion
2) Robotic evangelist, similar to the terminator but gives out leaflets pertaining to a certain ideology
1) The evangelist 2.0 religiously blogged to their flock
2) The evangelist 2.0 just destroyed my mailbox with pamphlets pertaining to his secrets to happiness
by ChronoSaturn June 3, 2010
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Apple Evangelist

People who try to convert you to Apple products by going on and on and on and on about their i phone/pad/pod. Alright we all appreciate the amazing technology but please would you shut the fuck up already.
"My i-thing is sooooooo amazing, my i-things app/screen/resolution/speed is sooooooooo much better than anything you've ever seen. WHY don't YOU own one." - Apple Evangelist.

"I appreciate the technology is very good. But you are a posing wanker and I just want to smash your i-thing to pieces and watch you cry." - Non i-thing owner.
by CloudPixie August 10, 2012
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