Douche Canoe

A person, usually male, who you wish would row, row, row the fuck away from you.

OMG he is being so obnoxious for no reason, like first he is all nice and I think we will be friends, but now he is just being a douche canoe.

by adidasDUDE August 30, 2025

Douche Canoe

Someone so full of themselves, that they feel their physical appearance entitles them to to be admired. At which point, they then utilize this false sense of admiration to attempt to take advantage of infatuated victims.

That douche canoe thinks that just because he tries to impersonate Kurt Cobain, it automatically makes him a talented idol, when in reality he is an unskilled parasite.

by Seattle010518 January 7, 2018

Douche Canoe

A person that on regular basis acts in a non polite away, typically a man, trying to repeatedly (just like you are paddling a canoe down the river) hurt you, usually doing or saying things out of spite, or spreading rumors that are not even accurate.

Hameed is such a douche canoe. Every week something new!

by JasonC123 August 14, 2021

Douche Canoe

A pussified person lacking any sort of balls to get a job done.

That douche canoe needs to fucking punch the gas and get the fuck out of my way.

by PRINCESS PHROGG June 17, 2021

Douche Canoe

A sad or pathetic gentlemen who opens his mouth wide as his woman douches her vagina and he catches it in his mouth. A terrible person. A sad excuse for a man

That guy is being a total douche canoe because he got fired for always being late

by Bornsooner May 11, 2024

Douche canoe

A douche bag that should sail away on the shit river away from you.

"Bugger off you douche canoe"

by t_tahiti May 22, 2018

Douche Canoe

A person or people who are behaving like a feminine hygiene product one would use on a warm night in August. With an air of snooty-ness as they fancy themselves an outdoorsmen using a pretentious personal watercraft.

Todd was being a real douche canoe talking about his ski trip in Tahoe.

by Dadof3girls July 30, 2016