Ticking Time Cum

When either your phone or your cumputer is at 1% and you have a race against the clock to get that cumsplosion off beofore your battery goes dead.

This is one of the hardest things to master in the world of masterbation.
Harder than the monkey grip-teste squeeze, and yes even harder than the russian jack knife.

Don't get it twisted though, once mastered, the Ticking Time Cum is not only among some most satifying of splooges, but its a great party trick, and will impress all the bros.

Davis: Bro last night I finally mastered the Ticking Time Cum. I was scrolling through the hub preparing my content when I realized my phone was on 1%! Leaving me with little time to spare, I lazered in on my go to, Brandi Love. I yanked that shit like Ive never yanked before. I made it with just enough time to spare, my phone died 4 seconds after my climax. It was exhilarating.

Grant: That is some impressive shit right there bro.

by EnemaBucket September 28, 2020

Brown Ticket

Noun. Excrement left on the hood of a poorly placed car.

"Some dick parked in my spot, so I left him a brown ticket"

by Koor November 21, 2004

piss tickets

a ticket purchased at a public toilet to go for a piss

Sabastian when to the toilet and had to buy a 'piss tickets' to have a piss

by WuddaWhist February 16, 2009

Jizz Ticket

When a woman or man traps the other one into a relationship by means of a child, the child is the jizz ticket.

Did you here about shawnda? She hooked up with another doctor and now she's pregnant. I guess she finally got her jizz ticket.

by Brown3yw July 5, 2011

exit ticket

An assignment a teacher wants to see before you leave their class.

Teacher: Ok class, this assignment will be your exit ticket to leave this class.

by WerewolfNation November 6, 2013

bum tickets

toilet paper

Hey babe! Can you bring me some bum tickets? I ran out in here!

by NevaMO February 2, 2016

Masking Ticket

The penalty for anyone that somehow feels that wearing an appropriate face covering during the COVID pandemic is more an infringement on individual freedom of CHOICE, than a DUTY of public responsibility.

Hey, what's the speed limit?
Well, on the interstate, it's 70 miles per hour.
Ok, what side of the road do we drive on in the US?
On the right side, of course.
Why do we wear masks to protect others from acquiring COVID 19?
We don't! That's a violation of individual freedom of expression!
WRONG! You and your dumb ass, COVID positive president have just EARNED a Masking Ticket for genuine STUPIDITY, insensitivity and demonstrating a flagrant disregard for humanity.

by YAWA October 4, 2020