smitten mittens

Smitten Mittens, When you have to keep your hands in your pockets to keep them off the girl you're with. Especially helpful in the company of parental units and members of the clergy. Not very effective, considering your hands aren't safe in your pockets, see Pocket Pool.

She was so fine, when her Dad came home I had to put on my smitten mittens on to cover my intent, but I ended up all jorma taccone.

by MauiBoi August 31, 2012

Custard Mitten

A cheese substitute founded by the Kraft family. Often included as dry powder in a box of pasta. A custard mitten is the term used for the leftover residue of tapioca gelatin that dries overnight inside a whore's vagina. Proteins are introduced and the mitten is pasteurized by General Custard. In the morning after the Custard's delivery, the mitten walls are scraped by the Kraft employees (like Keebler elves) to collect the flaky dry cheese powder alternative to be re-sold into Kraft grocery products.

"General Custard, I'm fucking hungry. Get your fingers out of the founding fathers, wipe my wife's ass off your glasses and get the fuck into the kitchen to whip me up a delightful custard mitten. You'll find my daughter waiting in the kitchen for your delivery."

by DrDoodleDandie February 19, 2018

cheesy mittens

When you finger bang a chick with a yeast infection

Did you hear that hoe lasagna gave orangejello cheesy mittens

by kirk lazarus April 23, 2015

Lost Mitten

The sexiest mother fucken' penguin around. Because of his shining shimmering YouTuber pin, he smashes all of the penguin ladies at ease. Penguins flock to his dick the moment he steps in the room, he's irresistible.

Blewberry02: Man I wish I was like Lost Mitten.
Clubby8911: I think we're going to have to do something about him, he steals all my coochie.

by Jeffrey Donahue Jr. June 23, 2019

Wicked Mittens

Sick, awesome, with the sauce

Those shades are wicked mittens my guy.

by Joe Ivy June 12, 2019

meat mitten

woman's genitalia creating warming hand garment (cf: snatch)

gis a look at yer meat mitten

by Kirst December 24, 2003

Smush Mitten

Fine Ass Pussy, you would love to have intercourse with

Megan Fox is so fine, I want her to be my smush mitten.

Dustin would let smush mitten, jessica alba, spray herpes juice in his eyes

Gary would make anything his smush mitten, horny fuck

by gnix February 26, 2009