Television

An invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

"The television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home."
-David Frost

by Mertown July 3, 2007

television

Un-biased definition: A device invented in the very early 1950s that enables someone (usually a news agency or entertainment company) to broadcast information instantaneously from a tower to a receiver in the homes of the people.

Biased definition: The most common tool used by those in power to have the people waste their precious free time by sitting on a couch, not thinking a single heretical thought.

You watch eighteen hours of television a day, and then you notice that those eighteen hours you could have been spent attempting to end the injustices in the world. But it's too late for that now. Now go back and watch Glenn Beck and beat off.

by Self-important teenager August 8, 2010

television

1. A stupid plastic box with a CRT, plastic casing (sometimes bestowed with wood paneling if its from 1978), and a glass screen designed to keep people in their homes.

2. Corporatism's source of pocketing new customers with their ill-quality products.

3. Something to sit and stare at if you want to see the forecast, or see people get killed.

Television sucks, and its completely stupid, which is why I don't say "television"; I call it the "idiot box"

by idonthavaname August 24, 2006

television

A big part of the fucking jew controlled media which infests every dumb cocksucker out there with shitertainment and what to buy to keep up with the numbnuts next door.

people with no brains and no lives of their own have television to tell them that they do.

by rayp April 25, 2005

Television

70's and 80's punk/noise band. They tried really hard to make music that did not copy any other. Most of it sucked, but they did have some very interesting songs. Required listening for old school punks.

Hey poseur, what are you doing wearing a Television tee?

by BillG April 25, 2005

Television

Quite possibly the worst invention ever. Abbreviated to T.V. People sit in front of it, then lights and sound come out of it, penetrating the person's mind and causing them to trancend in to a vegetable state. The television then proceeds to drain them of all energy, will to move, and thought capacity. It is evil and inhuman and shouldn't be a part of any household. If you already have one, don't worry! You can do any of these things to get rid of your television.

a. Sell it online
b. Light it on fire
c. Throw your DVD player through the screen (Killing two birds with one stone here...)

As Carl sat in front of the television, his head became mind numbingly blank.

by twinwoodsman October 29, 2010

Televisionary

A "born to be on TV" visionary who appears on television regularly, delivering messages that fall into her (his) mind from the dead.

There are no good ones on TV, yet.

by Mary Torre Kelly September 3, 2005