hefty midget

A sexual act usually consisting of 3 people. Two regular size people one male and one female and one midget(usually male)and a goat. All human partners cover their bodies in bacon grease. When all are covered the regular size male inserts the midgets head into his female partner's anus (It is recommended that she is bent over). At this point the midget squeaks creating a vibrating sensation in the woman's rectum. The male still holding the midget up at this point then grabs the goat and mounts it. The mounted goat may kick or may not depending of course on how furiously it is mounted. The male then gently lays the midgets rear down in front of the goat's mouth his head still inserted in the woman's anus. The midget now getting it's anus licked by the goat begins to squeak more making the woman truly satisfied. The male having already inserted his penis into the goat begins singing the theme song from charles in charge. Finally the male ejaculates on the goat. The woman releases a steady stream of fecal matter onto the midgets head, the goat stops licking the midget. The midget then pop's his head out of the woman, every inch of the midget's head and parts of his left shoulder covered completely in feces.

Mike: So I had a hot date last night.

Sebastion: Oh yeah? Did you give her a hefty midget?

Mike: You know it brosef.

Sebastion: Yeah I'm into goats.

by mikew September 7, 2008

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Hector The Time Travelling Midget

A man from the year 2098 who was much different than the rest of the people at that time, for he was only 3' tall. Everyone else in the world was at the shortest about 5' 2". This troubled Hector cause he was always picked on and people would throw him around much like a football. It being the year 2098, time travel had already been invented about 23 years ago. Hector thought about using time travel to change history so that there would be more short people like him. After acquiring the means to travel through time (which cost him $18.75 on Ebay), Hector travelled back in time many times, but was always thwarted in his attempt to make more short people. After many attempts Hector finally travelled back to the Primordial Soup. The goo that started all life sat before him. Sitting and pondering what to do to change history, Hector came up with the grandest of schemes. "Ah ha!", said Hector. "I will contaminate this ooze with my own ooze.", Hector shouted with glee. After an intense one and a half minutes of self gratification (Everything is shorter for midgets), he dumped his load into the soup causing a mass fusion of his "little" genes into the normal genes. After many eons of Evolution, thanks to Hector's deeds, we have been blessed with many small creatures. This is how the Pterodactyl became the chicken. Its how the shark became the goldfish. Its also how we got actors like Verne Troyer. No one knows what happened to Hector. My thoughts are that since he fucked with the timeline he never came to be. Poor, poor Hector. All this to make a friend and he never even existed. The moral of the story, I guess, is to not throw hair dryers into the bathtub.

Dude 1: "Man I hate that show Little People Big World. Who the hell came up with that shit?"

Dude 2: "Its all made possible because of Hector The Time Travelling Midget."

Dude 1: "Damn you Hector, damn you."

by Supa' Dub T June 30, 2008

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Hector

Prince of Troy as featured in the Iliad, an epic poem written by Homer. He was the greatest Trojan warrior as well as a family man. Hector was dedicated to his city and his duty as the primary defender of Troy. His death symbolized the inevitable fall of the city. He was a great hero with high morals. He was the embodiment of what a man should be, as portrayed by Homer and was very well rounded.

Played by Eric Bana in the movie adaptation.

Prince Hector was Priam's favorite son and main defender of Troy.

"Even the great Achilles dreaded to fight noble Hector."

~The Iliad

Person 1: "Man, Achilles was such a bastard for dragging Hector's body like that."

Person 2: Yeah, totally. Hector could have owned his ass."

by JRA12 September 19, 2009

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Hector

The most amazing person you’ll ever meet. If you have a Hector you better not mess things up or else you’ll regret it big time. Hector is an angel and will never break your heart so don’t break his.

Friend: I’m really regretting breaking up with him

Who?

Friend: Hector

You broke up with Hector?! That was a mistake

by fn11374 October 20, 2019

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