cool guy alert

abrv: CGA

variation on 'cool story bro'. used to demean somebody bragging/showing off about something irrelevant and/or uninteresting.

keith: so i just came up with this ballin' ass marketing strategy for my website, shitheads won't know what hit them when they click on this new hyperlink i just created by myself on my new imac; it'll automatically direct them to the company's twitter, myspace and tumblr and put their email/phone number/house address in permanent log that only our company can access.

dwayne: wow, cool guy alert.

by Dennis Ringle July 8, 2011

nigger alert

A device very similar to Life Alert, only it can be used by a white person of any age. A button is pressed whenever I nigger is approaching, and the police immediately arrive, ready to shoot the nigger!

Person A: Damn! I wish I hadn't moved to this ghetto neighborhood. All these niggers are trying to rob me!

Person B: Oh, don't worry. I have Nigger Alert. It'll protect you from those dirty apes.

by Adam Perri January 15, 2008

I'll Alert The Media

A sarcastic remark saying you don't care. Usually said after someone says something incredibly stupid or random. It originated from the movie "Arthur" where Arthur tells his valet, Hobson, he's going to take a bath. Hobson, not caring, says "I'll alert the media."

Arthur: Hobson
Hobson: Yes, Arthur
Arthur: You know what I think I'm going to do?
Hobson: What, Arthur
Arthur: I'm going to take a bath
Hobson: I'll alert the media...

-----------------------------------------------------

Girlfriend: OMG!! Jenny had the cutest top on today!
Boyfriend: Uh huh...
Girlfriend: I want that damn top! Like...oh my God!
Boyfriend: Mhm...

Girlfriend hits her hand on something

Girlfriend: Ow!! I broke a nail!
Boyfriend: I'll alert the media...

by urbansavage96 February 24, 2010

cecil alert

whenever some one says something that sounds like they are making sexual refererences, without realizing it

DUDE 1 dude my bag is stuck in my locker help me yank it out
DUDE 2: cecil alert..

CHICK 1: you prop it open with your foot and i'll shove it in there
CHICK2 : CECIL ALERT!

JEFREE STAR CLONE 1: dude! that thing is friggin huge! are you sure it will fit in there?
JEFREE STAR CLONE 2: stop making all these cecil alerts!

by ginger kids make me happy July 8, 2009

The Law of Averages

The Law of Averages is a layman's term used to describe the belief that the results of any given event "work out" or "even out" over a set of trials in the short run.

The LoA's assumes that balance will always occur within a small sample.

Essentially, it is the belief that a rare occurrence will happen given enough time and is similar to the shotgun effect

1) If you flip a coin 10 times, the Law of Averages states that 5 flips will be heads, and the other 5 flips will be tails.

2) If you apply to enough Universities, the Law of Averages states that you will eventually get into atleast one.

by JrBalrog January 2, 2012

Alert the Internet

Synonym or modern version to "There's the phone, call someone who cares."

(loosely)

Master Shake: Thanks for ruining my lunch! Which is gone by the way...
Frylock: Have you looked in the fridge?
Master Shake: Oh Brainstorm! Alert the internet we got a genius over here

by Keshicus June 1, 2010

Average Joe

In the world of coffee, an average joe means an average cup of coffee. Usually it falls halfway between watered down cardboard and decent storebought coffee.

I bought a large container of Maxwell House coffee from Kroger and it tasted like an average joe.

by PWS27 May 8, 2017