Insta-mum

A lovely looking lass, easy on the eye as they say and takes to Instagram to show off her tings with provocatively shot pics and creative use of camera angles, despite the fact that her parents also have social media accounts and might see this shit. Then the fucking slag has a kid. Unable to keep her legs shut long enough to keep out the majority of Insta-dicks, she is seeded and Insta-fuckboy as expected, fucks off. Kid barely starts to just be able to walk and say "Mum" when it's given it's own social media accounts and it's not before time that the kid having gotten a bit older now has access to pictures of his own mum being a tart. As do his friends. You guess the rest. Drugs, many other Insta-siblings from many other Insta-dads, bullying, depression and eventually suicide. Fuuuuuck.

"Yeah boi! Saw your mum on-"
"Fuck off! I know she can't keep her clothes on!"
Why does my mum have to be a Insta-mum? Thought Karl whilst crying/over-eating/masturbating/self mutilating later that day.

"Insta-mum! Insta-mum! Does she take it in the bum?"

"Hey Karl?"
"What?"
"Can I have a go on your Insta-mum?"
"............."

by incumbent sausage July 16, 2018

Chubby’s mum

Usually a woman who holds one of you children for 9 months while the fathers on a 40 year holiday

You would you like to be my chubby’s mum

by Spike speigel January 27, 2022

Ar mum gay

When gay porn roast you dont know what to say

Gay porn: I did your dad
Me:ar mum gay

by Vice bio March 19, 2019

andrews mum

she had a boner

wow she had a massive boner that must be a andrews mum

by chewyfeet69 May 15, 2023

Oscar's Mum

This describes a woman who has a higher bodycount than anyone else in the county.

Mate, fucked a chick last night pretty sure it was Oscar's Mum

by ShinDigDoo December 27, 2020

Mum Vision

The act of mothers being able to find objects no one else in the house can find.

S: "MA! I can't find the sharpie!"
M: "It's right there. You just left it on the shelf."
S: "Damn, you got some crazy mum vision."

by yogha September 18, 2023

mum rock

music predominantly listened to by women of the baby boomer generation. An extension of the term 'Dad rock', including rock music of the LA scene of the 1970s probably termed slightly 'softer' than the male dominated British rock scene. Probably including some soul greats.

"mum rock" picture mum dancing around the living room after a work do regailing you with stories of the time she saw joni mitchell and CSNY at Wembley arena and nearly went to the isle of wight festival, but didn't quite make it.

eg. Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell
Love the One you're with -stephen stills
Respect - Aretha Franklin
You're so vain - Carly Simon

by freemum February 15, 2009