jesus on a stick day

food friday (when jesus died)

happy jesus on a stick day!

by nothing_911 April 13, 2007

Jesus Shark

A Jesus version of a shark. Jesus walks on water, Jesus Shark walks on land.

Jesus made alot of fish and bread. Jesus shark makes people and bread.

Jesus was a person. Jesus shark is a cartoon.

Jesus got respect. Jesus shark has no respect. "nyuk nyuk nyuk."

remind you of anything? jesus shark is the big talking shark from josie and the pussycats.

"oh man tedd, I saw the Jesus Shark walk by me at the super market."

OR

"jesus shark watches me in the corner of my room when I sleep. fuckin jesus shark"

by ronnoc the axe January 13, 2009

pickled Jesus candles

Those tall jar candles with the bizarre, often gruesome, Catholic iconography on the outside of the jar. Usually found at Mexican markets, religious gift stores, and the ethnic food section at the supermarket.

Shop 'n' Rob in Bay Point has a great selection of pickled Jesus candles.

No, I'm not Catholic, I just like pickled Jesus candles.

by Dr. Badwrench July 12, 2007

Jesus's fuck thang

The organ that Jesus used to fuck all those bitches. That's why there are so many Christians in the world.

Jesus wipped out Jesus's fuck thang so much, even the son of god got chaffed.

by Big Baby Jesus October 1, 2004

jesus birthday sex

An excuse to do the dirty on christmas day. May be used to avoid the wrath of God for sinning on his son's birthday.

John: Are you free tonight? I need a little christmas lovin, if you know what I mean...

Jane: I'm not sure God would ever forgive me.

John: Don't worry, it's jesus birthday sex. He'll take it as a compliment that we are celebrating His birth.

Jane: Ok! Let's do it!

by Jbislollipop23 December 26, 2009

Jesus Freak

Someone who is SO obsessed with Jesus, they will never see anything ever wrong with him, always love him. They will pressure you (annoyingly) about it constantly until you run away screaming.

Gotta kill them all!
Jesus freak: "God is real to you you shouldn't be fake to god he loves you."
John: "What? I was just standing here."
Jesus Freak: "God loves you."
John: "I'm not even religious!"
Jesus Freak: "You should be, Jesus loves you and is deep inside you soul."
John: "AHH SHUT THE HELL UP! YOUR CRAZY!" *runs away*
Jesus Freak: "He's going to hell :("

by annoyedbyjesusfreaks July 13, 2011

Jesus

A fictional character created by a cult that developed into Christianity. Jesus is now falsely thought to have existed and some even think he was the son of god... and god.. at the same time. There is no historical evidence, writings or anything about Jesus during the time he supposedly lived. No accounts of Jesus were written until decades after he supposedly ascended into heaven. 30 or more years passed before he was written about, which was about the average life span back then. So how did a whole new generation write about something they didn't even witness for themselves? Don't you think some people would write about Jesus WHILE he was performing these miracles? Mithras Dionysus share VERY similar stories with Jesus and had cults like Christianity. You should not believe anything you’ve just read, but look up the evidence facts, and decide for yourself. Luigi Cascioli has accused the catholic church of falsely saying Jesus existed. They will have to present evidence that he did. If they cannot accomplish this they will no longer be able to say Jesus existed as a fact in Italy. This should be a fairly large blow to christianity.

Follow Jesus or you will burn in hell forever! jk he isn't even real lol.

by FreeThinker2007 August 21, 2007