Santa Claus

An elderly and obese guy that delivers billions of presents to people around the world. How does he get the presents? Why, he forces millions of elves in green costumes with way too large hats to make the presents.

Person 1: do you know santa claus?
Person 2: who doesn’t?

by idkwhatnametoputhere August 4, 2024

Similac Santa

Privileged white guy that begrudgingly pays for a poor couples baby formula during the Holidays.

When Darnell couldn't afford the Baby formula similac santa put it on his bill and saved the holiday.

by Fred W Schwartz December 18, 2019

Santa Claus

The only known person with immunity to diabetes and obesity-related death. He’s normally found in malls around Christmas time scaring the living crap out of children.

Timmy: How does Santa Claus get around so quickly with all those cookies in his tummy?

Mom: You’d be fast too if the police kept trying to track you down for breaking and entering.

by Inferior April 22, 2020

Premature e-Santa-ation

The feeling one gets when they believe the Christmas holiday came so suddenly

Person 1: dude Christmas is just around the corner!!
Person 2: what?! Are you serious?? Talk about Premature e-Santa-ation

by Alexander Bladez December 21, 2012

Santa

The man born of a satanic ritual to haunt adults and please children. First off to start the madness of this "creature", he is insanely fat and doesn't have diabetes. Second, he gets stuck in chimney's bigger than him. Last, he sneaks into your house, knows when you sleeping and awake, so he basically knows everything about every human in the history of the world.

Santa: *gets summoned out of pentagram* time to "investigate the humans

Little child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL

Parents: he wishes Santa was real.

Santa: *breaks window and lands on floor*

Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*

Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!

by Sir.Person July 18, 2020

Santa’s Svedka Challenge

If you find less that half a 750mL bottle of svedka any time after thanksgiving, you must get on your knee and chug the rest of the bottle. When you finish drunking you take off your shirt and run through the hall yelling YAHOOO.

“Oh my god Josh just did Santa’s Svedka Challenge that was wild.”
“Holy shit do you think hes gonna puke?”

by Nathan Crosby November 30, 2018

Santa’s Slay

When you engage in a threesome with four midgets (because they are half people) and one regular person

Yo let’s get you and the other midgets over and run a Santa’s Slay

by Carter Sanchez May 24, 2024