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Divided States of America 

The United States under the Trump-Pence Administration
What if the Divided States of America is the new United States of America?

Statesville 

A.K.A. known as Statesvegas or Skanksville, the town where the two interstates (I-40 and I-77) meet calling it the cross roads for the future. A very bleak and boring future I must say unless you're 80 years of age and retired and attend the local country club for a round of golf, then Statesville is a blast. Statesville is about a million, I mean 200 years old which consists of about 150,000 people. Many teenagers such as so myself attend the local high schools in this area that are plagued by alcohol, marijuana, and sex, if you're a teenage girl the chances of you being pregnant even if you've never had sex are 7 out of 10 people! Like I said about the age of this town it's old and so is its heritage, Many of the first pilgrims here owned slaves and as to this day many of their bloodline still lingers here and so does their views of the world, where if you're black, you're automatically associated into a social class of poverty, crime, and injustice. And if you're white, you're either really rich, have it all, and the stuff of the town, or you've settled for less and become part of the lower class aka what people call hicks. If you're ever in town take a stroll to check out the history you'll see a monument of a confederate general standing next to the city center.
Omg dude did you see that chick from statesville? Yeah dude she's pretty hot, I bet she's a stuck up bitch though.
Statesville by The Sexanator September 14, 2007

Excited States of America 

The USA, called this way in reference to American hysteria, which makes people freak out all the time and do stupid stuff like suspecting and imprisoning anyone of being a communist, go to war without even a good reason or just going around going batshit and yelling "DOOOMED, WE'RE DOOOOMED!!". True story.
Canadians are now calling us the "Excited States of America" since all we seem to do is take erectile dysfunction drugs and go to town hall meetings and scream.
Excited States of America by A_SN August 25, 2009

statusbaiter 

A person who intentionally publishes a vague status on Facebook or Twitter in a desperate attempt to solicit comments and responses. Could also be known as a "Twitterbaiter."
Status: "Jimmy A. wonders why he even bothers sometimes..."

Response 1: "me too, bro. life sux."
Response 2: "I keep tellin you give up on that chick."
Response 3: "Why bother with what? Is everything okay, Jimmy?"
Response 4: "Stop statusbaiting ya statusbaiter."

Statusjacking 

the act of taking over one's facebook status with a conversation of one's own.
John Smith loves peach pies.

Jane Doe 1...loves George Hamilton
Jane Doe 2...OMG! LOL! I LOVE HIM TOO!
Jane Doe 1...don't you think he
should
have been in The Tan
Commandments?
Jane Doe 2...wait, he wasn't?
Jane Doe 1...No silly! That was Bob
Eubank's twin!

*you have now witnessed a "faux"
statusjacking

United States Marine Corps 

The men who do all the real work in the US military. Also double as maids and sanitation workers for the many times they have had to clean up after the Army's dumbass shit and take out the trash around the globe.
We stole the rope from the Army, the anchor from the Navy, the eagle from the Air Force and on the 7th day when God rested, we overran his perimeter and stole the globe and we've pretty much been running the show ever since. OOHRAH!
What?!?! You accomplished the mission with absolutely no funding and you still kicked more ass than the Army? That is so United States Marine Corps of you.

I wish the other military branches weren't such bitches and they could grow a pair like the United States Marine Corps.