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Hand Festival

Old Gaelic(Irish) term for Masturbating.
I'll see you guys later, I'm having a hand festival.

Billy is in the bathroom having a hand festival.

My hands are sticky from the hand festival.

That girl is so Danger she always has a hand festival.
by Misterree88 November 20, 2011
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Hand Controller

A term used widely in small villages in the Ozarks for a "remote controller".
Can refer to those used by televisions or gaming consoles.
"Hey bro, can you pass me the hand controller?"
by Nigaliga March 12, 2014
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hand rule

The standard against which optimal breast size is gauged in seeking a suitable mate, etc.

The optimal breast size is equal to the amount that can be fit in one's hand; any less is not enough and any more is excessive, wasteful, and unnecessary.

The curve follows a sharp Gaussian/Cauchy–Lorentz function and distribution.

f (x; 0,1) = 1 / π (1 + π^2)

This is also known as the Breast-Volarity curve.
Person 1: Wow, she has exquisite breasts.

Person 2: Eh, they're too large.

Person 1: Nonsense!

Person 2: Don't forget the Hand Rule.
Person 1: Ahhh, good call.
by Prof. Munchie April 21, 2014
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Handcestors

HANDCESTORS, all the ancestors never born who could have been one's parents/uncles/great-grand-aunts etc. but couldn't due to male masturbation.
I wonder what my handcestors would have been like if they were my ancestors instead.
by Gethturbator October 4, 2016
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Hand Brownie

When a girl or guy shits in their hand and gives a sloppy hand job.
Wow Monica just gave me a hand brownie and it was delicious.
by P-Jizzle September 5, 2016
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Hand-Warming

Using the hands to stimulate the genitals in preparation for sexual intercourse.
Rachel got me nice and rigid with a little hand-warming.
by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2018
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hand party friendly

A Bitch or pack of Bitches naked or partially naked for the sole purpose of male masturbation.
by Master d January 17, 2018
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