I know Jesus loves YOU!

Someone making a statement acknowledging your ability to walk away from an over-the-top ridiculously dangerous situation unscathed (or with only minor injuries). Leading a charmed life.

Exiting a car accident where you were not wearing a seatbelt and you have only minor cuts; while another passenger who was wearing a seatbelt is being rushed to the hosptial to become an organ donor. A bystander says to you: I know Jesus loves YOU!

by Mychelle C. August 17, 2005

jesus

Jesus is the way to God. He died for all of us and loves us very much.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:16

by Emery Day April 11, 2007

Jesus

a kid in my english class.

Jesus is mexican but speaks english gooder than me and i was born in america.

by m.m.b.b April 11, 2005

Jesus class

A required class in catholic private schools, most often pertaining in some way to a god-and-man hybrid. Usually accompanies discrimination against women, other religions, homosexuals, etc. Generally the classes, intentionally or not, use inaccurate history and facts. Typically teachers are ignorant as to actual origins of feast days, traditions, holidays, and the like. Frequently denies scientific theories.

"Aly, why aren't you praying?"

"It's quite simple. Though your 'Jesus class' says otherwise, religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration--courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, most of all, the truth."

by Natsuki October 1, 2008

Jesus Tit Fuck

Getting Tit Fucked and cumming on her chin giving her the grey beard of an old Jesus.

Man her rack is so firm I'd want to give her a Jesus Tit Fuck

by The_Lion_Tamer July 12, 2011

Jesus fucking

When you fuck so hard and fast that you die and then revive 3 days later, and then get sent up to god's bedroom to do the same thing there.

Person 1: where the hell am I?
God: in my bedroom
Person 1: how did I die?
God: Jesus fucking...
Person 1: what?! Why am I in your bedroom
God: cause someone who can Jesus fuck only appears every 2 thousand years, now get in bed...

by A complete joke April 23, 2017

let Jesus out of the capsule

The act of performing much needed bowel movements to alleviate the buildup of fecile matter. The pressure differential after the act results in a heavenly feeling with minimal flatulence.

I'm sorry I made us miss our flight, but that was the first time let Jesus out of the capsule in three days and I was enjoying every second of it.

by SatelliteDaddy June 2, 2010