oatmeal cookies

a street name for oxycontin when your talking on the phone next to your mom

BOB: hey the backer is in town with some cookies

BILL: what kind of cookies

BOB: Oatmeal Cookies

by S.O.H.O.N. March 15, 2008

Fortune Cookie Bullshit

Advice or wisdom passed that offers little or no value to a situation. Typically based on common knowledge that is skewed based on ignorance, or a similar isolated past situation that occurred in a third party's life that has nothing to do with the current situation.

"Cara hasn't called for like 3 hours."
"Dude, she's fucking someone else, probably one of your friends or a close relative. Maybe even one of your teachers from high school"
"Uh, how can you tell that?"
"Totally happened to my cousin's friend, the one that works over at Public Storage."
"What kind of fortune cookie bullshit is that? You're an asshole, my friend."

by Matt Kish January 20, 2009

Baked Cookies

The act of getting high and watching porn on the internet for a long period of time.

Dude, Chad and I baked cookies last night on my girlfriends computer, it was chill.

by effinbrian March 27, 2011

Chocolate Cookie Jar

When someone sticks their entire fist into the anus of another person and cannot get their hand back out.

I gave her the old chocolate cookie jar last night and she was so surprised, I was stuck for about an hour.

by Ed the Viking July 11, 2011

purple cookie

When Mr. Sibal fucks Tomm's ass to get his grade up

Hey Mr, Sibal, could i please get my grade up by getting purple cookie from you?

by daddy duran June 5, 2018

cake and cookie

Cake - Ass

Cookie - Pussy

Freaky ass nigga eat the cake and cookie

by Syuxker August 16, 2016

Took My Cookies

(APPLIES FOR ALL GENDERS AND PRONOUNS FOR PEOPLE) Taking someone's cookies is an innuendo for taking their virginity in a way that also has them head over heels for you. Can also be used for just taking ones virginity. (also normally happens after smoking weed with said person)

Guy #1 : Yo man where were you at all night?
Guy #2 : I was At Jennifer's place, we blazed it up and then she spent the whole night and took my cookies before i fell asleep over there.
Guy #1 : damn man she done took your cookies and you haven't stopped talking about it since.

by xXSnowScarletWolfXx November 1, 2017