A turtle press is when you scoop your poop out of the toilet and shove your feces in your anus as hard as you can. Ideally for missing out on any nutrients such as protein or vitamins. Much like a turtle going back into its shell. But your anus is the shell and your turds are the turtle
by Pizzafart33 May 12, 2023
Get the Turtle press mug.n. - A day to yourself where you stay in your metaphorical "shell" and do only what you want to do.
Typically, a person will stay in bed with a laptop and/or pen and paper. Maybe under blankets (like the turtle's shell)
Typically, a person will stay in bed with a laptop and/or pen and paper. Maybe under blankets (like the turtle's shell)
Today, I didn't want to go to class or work, so I took a Turtle Day as my roommate brought me food in bed and I doodled all day. It was well deserved and rephreshing
I heard you're stressed out, why not take a Turtle Day? It can help you wind out!
I heard you're stressed out, why not take a Turtle Day? It can help you wind out!
by Saile February 26, 2011
Get the Turtle Day mug.The act of beating someone who is so slow even though you are incredibly slow yourself. Or is a procrastinator accomplishes a task before another procrastinator.
JPow was the worst procrastinator in the history of the world, but, he still managed to turtle smoke Lei-hi by completing his task of shucking his pile of corn stalks before her. ...thus, Leigha has been turtle smoked...
by LalaGG June 23, 2016
Get the Turtle smoke mug.The Story of The Turtle of Life:
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
by FSMFan June 12, 2009
Get the Turtle of Life mug.A turtle press is when you grab a turd out of the toilet. It can be yours or a strangers, and shove it back into your anus in case you missed any nutrients such as protein or vitamins. Thus your anus being the turtle shell and the poop being the turtle
by Pizzafart33 May 12, 2023
Get the Turtle press mug.by illone84 July 6, 2017
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