Jesus Roll

When a song, movie, or attractive person you meet at a bar all of the sudden goes all Churchy when you aren't expecting it. Like a Rick Roll, but the surprise is Jesus.
I was totally hitting it off with this girl, then she had to leave early to go to church. Jesus Rolled!
by Munche May 01, 2009
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Jesus Crust

He is the son of Crust God. He was crucified for our memes and came back on the 3rd day to teach his diciples to spread the teachings Crust. Never touch his sock because if you do he will anally rape with a stick while screeching “REEEEEEEEEEE!”
I pray to thee, our lord Jesus Crust.
by Jesus Crust April 07, 2018
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Jesus Jenelle

1) a common phrase when you seen wit Kieffah
2) a phrase when Jenelle screws up and doesn't take care of her baby.
3) Said when change jar in thrown at Keiffah
"Jesus Jenelle I seen you with Kieffah"

" Have fun on the streets with your boyfrieeeeeeend"

"Jesus Jenelle that was my change jaaar, why did you do that?"
by makinithailondesehoes December 30, 2011
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Jesus Handles

The handles inside a car by the seats that be hung on to when swerving around tight corners and yelling "JESUS!"
Alice hung on with all her might to the Jesus Handles and yelled the accompanying expression as Luke took a tight corner.
by Indigo Starr March 05, 2010
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Sleeping With Jesus

Passing out drunk in a tub of water leaving potential for drowning and meeting Jesus
by Christian88888 October 13, 2012
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high on jesus

Elated in a religious fashion mostly found in born again christians and recovering alchoholics. Constantly preaching christian values and quoting the bible.
Your mom is so high on jesus I can't stand it.
by xylena June 23, 2006
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Jesus wept

A rather sarcastic turn of phrase showing an unsympathetic attitude towards a person.
- Some twat stole that garden my dad bought for a fiver.
- Oh how Jesus fucking wept.
by Billy-Bob McSanchez April 06, 2005
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