guff monkey

one who frequently farts

You stink, you filthy little guff monkey

by pantsonhead December 23, 2002

marketing monkey

Someone who feels the need to recite a companies marketing as if it was the truth with out even stopping to think about what it even means.

Douchebag: "Mac OS X is better than windoez because it is POSIX certified because the Apple product page told me so."
Someone in IT: "Do you even know what POSIX stands for?"
Douchebag: "Erm... No... But it means your computer is secure, right?"
Someone in IT: "You do know that Windows has been POSIX certified since 2000, right?"
Douchebag: "Uh..."
Someone in IT: "Dude, you're such a marketing monkey... Spend less time on 'imasturbatetomymac.com' and more time reading about real computers."

by Someone in IT January 6, 2008

not-monkey

Jack-speak for ape.

Comes from an excellent piece of slash fiction called "Dr. Jackson's Diary" that is loosely based on the hit sci-fi series "Stargate SG-1." Although no longer available on the net, it is possible to find this gem if you know who to ask, as it still has a small cult following.

As suggested by the title, this piece of fanfiction is written from the point of view of Dr. Daniel Jackson, an archaeologist and linguist working in the top-secret Stargate Program which is operated out of Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado Springs Colorado. The diary chronicles and entire year's worth of missions, misadventures, and madness.

This fic is generally accepted as rated NC-17 for language and content...read at your own risk.

Quoting from "Dr. Jackson's Diary" 'May: Planet of the Not-Monkey' by Anais:

"Hey, hey--" Jack said, wiping his eye for the forty eighth time. "NOTHING on the MALP reports suggested we were being sent to the planet of the--" he paused. I mouthed the word APES and he added. "--not-monkeys."

We'd already established they were not-monkeys in the locker room, Jack scouring himself under the shower and cursing. "Fuckin' filthy fuckin' disgusting fuckin' monkeys!"

And my stock response; "They're not monkeys, Jack. They're apes."

Hence Not-Monkeys has just become Jackspeak for 'apes'.

by Skaara January 23, 2008

Jerks your monkey

masturbation

Whatever Jerks Your Monkey

by RAHMAN November 27, 2002

spanking tha monkey

When you gotta cum so hard and you finally do you scream out like a monkey being spanked with a leather studed belt

She was spanking tha monkey last night, had me going all king kong up in that piece when I cumed!

by Nordingo March 24, 2014

monkey lip

The result of the residue or tar left behind on a person's lips after doing an exceptionally large bong hit or hitting on a blunt or blizzo...usually occuring from the bottom of of a person's bag if it is of high quality pot strain like kush, chronic or indo or from smoking any very low grade pot like schwag weed, brown or mexican bud.

JC did a huge hit of the chronic and had monkey lip when he tried to pass the hit to his girl, Tia.

by jcinvegas July 2, 2008

Crack Monkey

This is a friend or foe that does something really crazy or just needs to be call this. Have fun.

What up crack monkey?!?! What you been up to?

by john james April 14, 2006