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Green Douche

A random player, i.e. a non-party member, in a game of Call of Duty.

By definition, a green douche is a medically handicapped homosexual who has severe brain damage caused by the utmost caliber of mental retardation. He cannot go 3 seconds without stuffing a cock in his mouth.

It should be noted that green douches experience a severe reaction of a rush of blood towards their genitalia upon acquiring an M203 Grenade Launcher, Energy Sword, or Sniper Rifle.

Several severe AI bug is affecting all green douches:

Upon being killed by an enemy, they are known to keep attempting a frontal assault at the enemy's last known location until the game is over or the enemy runs out of ammo. While this is most likely due to the brain damage, their AI claims this is due to "hacks" and insists the killer is also homosexual.

Another AI bug occurs when a friendly calls in a Care Package. This crashes the green douche's combat function and moves them from their position, A, to drop-location B, linearly. Green douches will walk through front lines, minefields, sentry guns, or even into bottomless pits in line segment AB to steal the friendly package.

A global AI bug occurs universally in games among green douches of any game when there is any item labeled a "sniper rifle.” Green douches will equip, team-kill, or rage quit a game until they get a sniper rifle. It is not uncommon for a herd of the entire team except you to thus be camping.
That green douche has a boner of revenge, he keeps running into the sentry gun to kill the guy that knifed him. That guy now must have all his killstreaks.

The green douche just jumped off the map to steal my care package which was shot down off the map. That was the third time he jumped to his death now.

Why is the game lagging? Oh, there's a green douche on our team from Uzbekistan who has 1 red bar. He's 0 for 100 and trying to snipe with a silenced auto shotgun.

Hang on, I just received a message. It was from someone in the last game on our team. I can't understand him though, it sounded like he was gurgling sperm and I think he was trying to ask me out but I'm not interested in homosexual relationships like he is.
by Sniper McSnipadin December 7, 2012
mugGet the Green Douchemug.

Douche Bag

by Badace19 August 24, 2009
mugGet the Douche Bagmug.

douche-whisperer

A man who has all the inside knowledge of why douche-bags act the way they do. They are capable of helping women, Ex-girlfriends in particular get back at their douche-bag exs. They are rare, in fact almost unheard of. These men are usually attractive nerds and care for the well being of females, hence they get married to the hot ones. If a woman is having trouble with her man or ex. She should seek the advice of these truly unique men.
Morgan- "Why is my ex being a douche bag?

Jennifer- "I don't Know but a douche-whisperer helped me know why my ex was in fact such a douche and what I could do."

Morgan- "sweet give me his digits, then we can watch "Dinner For Schmucks."
by Nomyar13 February 20, 2011
mugGet the douche-whisperermug.

douche hoagie

pretty much the same thing as a douche bag... you really want to avoid the douche hoagies around the world. They are an unfavorable person therefore being called a douche hoagie is never a good thing.

the term can also be and preferably be shortened to the term "hoagie." calling someone a hoagie is fun and replaces other politically incorrect terms like fag, homo, retard, nigger, bitch, etc.
The guy over in the corner at the John Mayer concert standing alone with a lighter in the air is a real douche hoagie.

The girl that always feels the need to tell me how things are going with her ex boyfriend is a real hoagie.
by T.J. Bossington December 18, 2010
mugGet the douche hoagiemug.

douche cag

(n.)

Insult one typically uses when too flustered to think of or actually pronounce the proper terms of douche fag or douche bag.

Refers to someone who has just pissed you off so monumentally that for lack of better lingual skills this word comes out as your insult.
*Man walks in and goes up to a priceless masterpiece you have been painting for several years and urinates on it. Before ripping him to pieces in blind maniacal rage, you scream out, "You,... you douche cag!!!"
by Fa-Rhino April 10, 2009
mugGet the douche cagmug.

nose douche

A neti pot. Used to flush the sinuses. Popular in Asia for colds, and allergies.
My God, my face feels like it's going to explode. Go get me my nose douche to clear out these boogers!
by Zoftig_One October 21, 2010
mugGet the nose douchemug.

Douche Mountain

A person who so completely embodies douchebaggery, that he or she can be said to be the pinnacle of douches, in otherwords a "Douche Mountain."
That guys is the biggest asshole ever. Whadda douche MOUNTain.
by Small Peanuts March 12, 2011
mugGet the Douche Mountainmug.

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