That one person who has the uncanny ability to partake in douchery but does not exibit all the qualities of a typical douche, leading some people into the illusion that this person is not in fact a douche. In many cases a closet douche is only a douche to guys so oblivious girls think hes a cool guy, adding to the hatred of him. Also, creatine is used by certain closet douches to artificially bulk them up, but everyone knows it just shrinks their ballsack.
guy: "God damn Bob is such a douche"
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."
by DD6969 January 19, 2010
Get the Closet Douchemug. A man who has all the inside knowledge of why douche-bags act the way they do. They are capable of helping women, Ex-girlfriends in particular get back at their douche-bag exs. They are rare, in fact almost unheard of. These men are usually attractive nerds and care for the well being of females, hence they get married to the hot ones. If a woman is having trouble with her man or ex. She should seek the advice of these truly unique men.
Morgan- "Why is my ex being a douche bag?
Jennifer- "I don't Know but a douche-whisperer helped me know why my ex was in fact such a douche and what I could do."
Morgan- "sweet give me his digits, then we can watch "Dinner For Schmucks."
Jennifer- "I don't Know but a douche-whisperer helped me know why my ex was in fact such a douche and what I could do."
Morgan- "sweet give me his digits, then we can watch "Dinner For Schmucks."
by Nomyar13 February 20, 2011
Get the douche-whisperermug. A person who so completely embodies douchebaggery, that he or she can be said to be the pinnacle of douches, in otherwords a "Douche Mountain."
by Small Peanuts March 12, 2011
Get the Douche Mountainmug. The act of being a super douche.
Tom, you need to learn your manners and stop being a huge douche wad, so you can get your planner back.
by Reggie Rugburn November 16, 2010
Get the Douche Wadmug. A random player, i.e. a non-party member, in a game of Call of Duty.
By definition, a green douche is a medically handicapped homosexual who has severe brain damage caused by the utmost caliber of mental retardation. He cannot go 3 seconds without stuffing a cock in his mouth.
It should be noted that green douches experience a severe reaction of a rush of blood towards their genitalia upon acquiring an M203 Grenade Launcher, Energy Sword, or Sniper Rifle.
Several severe AI bug is affecting all green douches:
Upon being killed by an enemy, they are known to keep attempting a frontal assault at the enemy's last known location until the game is over or the enemy runs out of ammo. While this is most likely due to the brain damage, their AI claims this is due to "hacks" and insists the killer is also homosexual.
Another AI bug occurs when a friendly calls in a Care Package. This crashes the green douche's combat function and moves them from their position, A, to drop-location B, linearly. Green douches will walk through front lines, minefields, sentry guns, or even into bottomless pits in line segment AB to steal the friendly package.
A global AI bug occurs universally in games among green douches of any game when there is any item labeled a "sniper rifle.” Green douches will equip, team-kill, or rage quit a game until they get a sniper rifle. It is not uncommon for a herd of the entire team except you to thus be camping.
By definition, a green douche is a medically handicapped homosexual who has severe brain damage caused by the utmost caliber of mental retardation. He cannot go 3 seconds without stuffing a cock in his mouth.
It should be noted that green douches experience a severe reaction of a rush of blood towards their genitalia upon acquiring an M203 Grenade Launcher, Energy Sword, or Sniper Rifle.
Several severe AI bug is affecting all green douches:
Upon being killed by an enemy, they are known to keep attempting a frontal assault at the enemy's last known location until the game is over or the enemy runs out of ammo. While this is most likely due to the brain damage, their AI claims this is due to "hacks" and insists the killer is also homosexual.
Another AI bug occurs when a friendly calls in a Care Package. This crashes the green douche's combat function and moves them from their position, A, to drop-location B, linearly. Green douches will walk through front lines, minefields, sentry guns, or even into bottomless pits in line segment AB to steal the friendly package.
A global AI bug occurs universally in games among green douches of any game when there is any item labeled a "sniper rifle.” Green douches will equip, team-kill, or rage quit a game until they get a sniper rifle. It is not uncommon for a herd of the entire team except you to thus be camping.
That green douche has a boner of revenge, he keeps running into the sentry gun to kill the guy that knifed him. That guy now must have all his killstreaks.
The green douche just jumped off the map to steal my care package which was shot down off the map. That was the third time he jumped to his death now.
Why is the game lagging? Oh, there's a green douche on our team from Uzbekistan who has 1 red bar. He's 0 for 100 and trying to snipe with a silenced auto shotgun.
Hang on, I just received a message. It was from someone in the last game on our team. I can't understand him though, it sounded like he was gurgling sperm and I think he was trying to ask me out but I'm not interested in homosexual relationships like he is.
The green douche just jumped off the map to steal my care package which was shot down off the map. That was the third time he jumped to his death now.
Why is the game lagging? Oh, there's a green douche on our team from Uzbekistan who has 1 red bar. He's 0 for 100 and trying to snipe with a silenced auto shotgun.
Hang on, I just received a message. It was from someone in the last game on our team. I can't understand him though, it sounded like he was gurgling sperm and I think he was trying to ask me out but I'm not interested in homosexual relationships like he is.
by Sniper McSnipadin December 7, 2012
Get the Green Douchemug. by Facecake July 25, 2009
Get the Arctic Douchemug. 