A sexual copypasta about Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker about Ahsoka in sexual descriptions.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.
Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.
We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.
We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
by jordypresto0418 February 6, 2021
Get the Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? mug.A girl named paige, she is so perfect in every way, and never thinks much of her self, she is cute, and always makes me smile everytime i see her.
"hey i need to find the perfect girl"
"what about some sorta paige"
"hey yeah thanks she is perfect!"
"guess who the most awesome girl i have ever met is?"
"paige?"
"yeah how did you know?"
"because shes perfect"
"what about some sorta paige"
"hey yeah thanks she is perfect!"
"guess who the most awesome girl i have ever met is?"
"paige?"
"yeah how did you know?"
"because shes perfect"
by formetoknowandforyoutofindout April 26, 2009
Get the the most awesome girl i have ever met mug.by Mr.FurnaceFace December 3, 2019
Get the I am yet to meet someone who can outsmart bullet. mug.From Lewis Black, it's the kind of saying that has no conceivable logical explanation and can cause your head to explode if you think about it for any significant amount of time.
"Right, New Jersey is a great place to live. And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
by You're with me, leather April 14, 2007
Get the If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college mug.A statement used to counter "I know what you are, but what am I?" if you wish to continue verbally bitch-slapping them. Also has a 30% chance of making them shut up in confusion of trying to determine the meaning.
1. Idiot (After verbal bitch-slapping): "I know what you are but what am I?!"
You: "I am a figment of your imagination, therefore you are non-existent."
Idiot: "Um...uh...uuuum..."
You: "I am a figment of your imagination, therefore you are non-existent."
Idiot: "Um...uh...uuuum..."
by Rhonin March 18, 2010
Get the I am a figment of your imagination, therefore you are non-existent. mug.by rarrrgh October 10, 2006
Get the I wish my homework was asexual so it would do itself. mug.I expect a man to be okay with me being inappropriate in my relationship because I am an immature irresponsible little girl who is good for nothing and cannot give anything to a man. I could possibly be cheating but I was raised by a demon monkey mother who taught me that bullshit
by Light Guardian September 30, 2018
Get the I need a man secure enough to handle my Instagram mug.