Pork Scotch friends

Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.

Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?

Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.

by Lumpbag August 15, 2009

ball scratching

Ball scratching is the act of getting paid for sitting on your ass.
Particularly if you work in IT and just sit in front of the PC waiting for something to come up.

Also referred to as scrapesticle

guy1: Dude, you're working on Christmas, that's rough!
guy2: Hell no, I get paid double to do a whole day of ball scratching.

by Ashko November 23, 2009

Scotch Watch

the result of drinking too much, or preferably scotch. when the victim falls asleep, they get a ballsack slapped on their wrist, thus the notorious Scotch Watch

Frat Boy 1:Dude, Jerry passed out!
Frat Boy 2: dude, it's a perfect time to give him a Scotch Watch!
Frat Boy 1: Ehh, you're right, he's a pledge anyway

by Ya Boy Trax June 16, 2010

Scotchy Mother

A disgusting old hag with hairs growing out of the wrinkles on its liver spots. She is the mother Pork Scotch and even more scotchy than the Porky Scotcher himself. It is constantly driven around in the Scotchy Mother Wheelchair by Scotchman and Goofy Granny.

Monk: The chair's there! Is the Scotchy Mother here?

Mick: No. Porky just took it out of the half car while he was raising the back seat to make it a bed.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 28, 2009

Scotch Fugly

The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.

Ugliness levels:

1 ugly

2 pug ugly

3 fugly

4 pug fugly

5 super pug fugly

6 scotch fugly

by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 29, 2009

Scotchuesday

is a weekly drinking holiday with the sole purpose of drinking Scotch on Tuesdays.

Acceptable liquor variations are - Whiskey or Bourbon.

Jordan looked forward to Scotchuesday, where should could sip her scotch in the company of good friends and a fine cigar.

by North Park Crew December 8, 2010

scotcholm syndrome

Feelings of affection and appreciation felt toward Scotch whiskey (though applicable to all whiskeys) resulting from a long period of drinking it and hating it.

While I used to think that Laphroaig tasted like I was drinking an industrial fire, I now love it and appreciate its notes due to Scotcholm Syndrome.

Thanks to Scotcholm Syndrome, I enjoy sipping Wild Turkey neat.

by raabidfun September 26, 2018