Mattress Freefall

The period of time between hearing your mattress frame crack and landing on the carpet afterwards. Caused mostly by obesity. A growing problem in the United States.

*Crack*
Person 1: Dude, we're entering mattress freefall.

by TumblingTyler January 11, 2010

Mexican Mattress

When you take your piece/pipe under your blanket while you're on your bed, and you toke it. Gets hella thick hella fast

Dude I did a mexican mattress at home yesterday, I was so freakin' stoned

by The Dragon Lung January 11, 2009

mattress rider

a gay person

that guy is a mattress rider

by elmeatwado January 24, 2009

squat mattress

A girl who fucks a lot of squatters. Often a squatter herself, though not necessarily.

That girl fucked all the guys in the squat! What a squat mattress!

by Tigrrlily November 21, 2006

Squaddy mattress

A squaddy mattress is a girl who's slept with more than 5 members of our lovely armed forces. General slag, scally and chav.

"That Laura is a right squaddy mattress she's shagged 17 of them!"

by ali November 30, 2004

blood on the mattress

a really bad one night stand with a guy that just can't keep it up.

On a Sunday morning, Blanche asks, "Hey are you going to call that guy you went home with last night." Rose responds, "No it was just blood on the mattress."

by blanche deveroe September 23, 2008

mattress tester

1. Noun: Slang for prostitute

Did you have a good time last night?
Yeah I want back to see that mattress tester

by dickmagee November 19, 2014