handy king

A person who always tries to get laid but always ends up just getting a hand job from the girl.

Thomas, you are the handy king.

by mrcool35 September 24, 2013

Pity-Handy

A hand job given apathetically and out of pity. During the hand job things are often said such as "are you almost there?" and it's not uncommon to make a phone call, smoke a cigarette, or text a friend during the encounter.

I don't really like that guy, but I'd toss him a pity-handy if he asked.

by WetBottom November 14, 2011

Hessel Handi

When you travel from Tolono to Hessel Park just to rub one out to the kids playing on the splash pad.

Hey, did you see the school board president giving himself the Hessel Handi the other day.

God work sucked today I could really go for a Hessel Handi.

by Tolonoman July 23, 2022

Handy Randy

The art of using a drunken, unconscious friends hand to jack yourself off until completion.

Last night Matt was so drunk and unconcious that I used his hand to give me a Handy Randy; I came on his face for added effect.

by BertMcMatterton November 26, 2010

[Mein] [Handy]

It is German for "my phone/mobile/cellphone", and is use infamously by Stephen Fry in an episode of QI, whereby he groped himself while stating "MEIN HANDY!" in a Germanic accent.

"MEIN HANDY!"
"Ver ist mein Handy?"
"Oh, mein Handy"

by Em Ken January 11, 2009

Handy Mandy

The act of ones mate giving them a hand job, but right before ejaculation, turns it right back at the ejaculator

Man it was going great with this chic until she got scared and pulled a handy Mandy!

by The smarbist April 7, 2012

dry handy

A handjob, without lube.

Friend: How'd it go last night?
Reply: Man, all I got was a dry handy.

by Matt_28 October 26, 2006