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baptist

The reason I have to drive 30 miles to buy liquor. Also the reason I can't buy liquor on Sundays.
I'd love to live in a city not run by Baptists so that I don't have to drive to the ghetto to buy liquor.
by floodland January 11, 2007
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baptist preemie

when the conception is premature, rather than the birth.
Sarah Palin's son Track just had a child three months after the wedding; must be a baptist preemie.
by BJ33196 August 22, 2011
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Baptism in Fire

A baptism in fire is the transition and loss of purity of an individual. In a sense it is consensual loss of innocence for a individual so they can grow.
I think that girl is cute, but she doesn’t seem mature enough; I don’t think she’s had her baptism in fire yet.
by enunatenpestad June 25, 2019
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German Baptism

A German Baptism describes the first spill of alcohol - preferably beer while opening the can - on a new piece of clothing.
Dear piece of clothing,
honoring the legendary tradition of the "German Baptism", you are now officially ready to endure endless nights in muggy bars and wicked beer tents.
by hankmoody89 November 14, 2011
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Landover Baptist Church

A fictional church located in the fictional universe of Freehold, Iowa; its website was created by Chris Harper and Paul A. Bradley as parody of Fundamentalist christianity; the website is known for it's satirical views on religion, christianity, and the Bible. Some people actually take it seriously, but it is purely satire.
Person A: "Hey did you read this Christian website?"
Person B: "No, what does it say?"
Person A: "It says that homosexuals have long hair."
Person B: "Didn't Jesus have long hair?"
Person A: "That's the thing: it says when Jesus accepted himself as Lord and Savior that the Holy Spirit whispered in his ear for him to get a hair cut."
Person B: "What, that's absurd! "
Person C: "Yeah, kinda sounds like Landover Baptist Church and its black propaganda."
by Estelwen June 3, 2014
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Baptist passion check

This is a subtle touching of a guy's crotch area to see whether he is beginning to have an erection. The plan is that, if he is, to stop the deep kissing or making out.
Anne stopped Tom in mid-kiss after he failed the Baptist passion check.
by banana oil October 18, 2010
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Southern Baptist

Currently, the largest protestant denomination. They believe the following:

1.The scriptures (Bible) are the inerrant Word of God.

2.Trinity (ONE God in 3 persons, who are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit)

3.Salvation is by grace alone. (You cannot work your way to heaven)

4.Once Saved Always Saved (That is, you cannot lose your salvation)

5.Man's nature is sinful.

6.Baptism by immersion. Baptism is a picture of your salvation and it does not save you.

Well, those are some of the basic fundamental beliefs that Southern Baptists have.
Southern Baptists go by what the Bible says alone.
by JohnJohn1186 November 5, 2004
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