Axe Head
A vile concoction that is technically considered a malt liquor, although it would be more well suited to be categorized somewhere between turpentine and diesel fuel. Produced by Minhas Brewery in Monroe, Wisconsin, it is available mostly in 24 oz. cans with distribution limited to the midwest. It is most famous for its crippling 11% alcohol and generous price ($1.19 per 24oz can).
The satanic colors that adorn the can let you know that you are about to enter through the gates of hell, and that an eternal torture will ensue, the kind that lucifer himself would cringe at. The crack of the tab precedes the smell of aerosol and unleaded gasoline instantly permeating the room. The first sip tastes of rat feces, razor blades and toenails, with a finish of cyanide. It is now that the theories behind the name "Axe Head" become apparent:
Theory #1: The effects of drinking one tall boy are similar to huffing an entire can of Axe body spray.
Theory #2: The effects of drinking one tall boy are similar to being struck in the head by the business end of an axe.
Regardless of which theory is accepted, one thing is certain: When you stop drinking steel reserve and start drinking axe head, you have reached complete rock bottom.
The satanic colors that adorn the can let you know that you are about to enter through the gates of hell, and that an eternal torture will ensue, the kind that lucifer himself would cringe at. The crack of the tab precedes the smell of aerosol and unleaded gasoline instantly permeating the room. The first sip tastes of rat feces, razor blades and toenails, with a finish of cyanide. It is now that the theories behind the name "Axe Head" become apparent:
Theory #1: The effects of drinking one tall boy are similar to huffing an entire can of Axe body spray.
Theory #2: The effects of drinking one tall boy are similar to being struck in the head by the business end of an axe.
Regardless of which theory is accepted, one thing is certain: When you stop drinking steel reserve and start drinking axe head, you have reached complete rock bottom.
I was drinking an Axe Head in an alley the other day. A homeless man walking by stopped and shook his head, displaying his utter loss of hope in humanity.
Axe Head by Lord Parmesan June 28, 2010
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