Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013

wheezing tortoise

someone who shot an ostrich in the last 34 minutes

he is a wheezing tortoise

by Human who is also an ostrich June 24, 2022

joyful tortoise

nickname for Jeb Bush

The joyful tortoise lives in the state of Florida where adultery is the lowest per capita and it may be why it has the most cities that have Saint in their name.

by Coop Dupe January 13, 2020