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Jesus Was A Satanist

Jesus was a Satanist. Satan was a Christian.
"Jesus was a Satanist 'cause Satan goes to church. Satan was a Christian when the death bell rang for Lurch. He died a frankenbooger up his nostril with a seed. They buried him on Friday. Now his pumpkin Halloweed!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 30, 2023
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Satanism

Satanism is comonly thought to be one who worships the devil wich is quite wrong because that would be called a Luciferrian now a Satanist is someone who only believes in themselve they believe in there own religon they believe in pleasing themselves " self indulgece" wich to most people is considered one of the 7 deadly sins But Once again a Satanist is not someone who worships the devil
"Dumb Bitch" Omg she is sucha Satanist
"Meh" umm no.......... She's Catholic
"Dumb Bitch" but she wears soo much black
"Meh" Omg.....? i hate u.....
by Jazy December 28, 2004
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Feminist satanism

A mixture of feminism and satanism.They believe the satanisn is a woman and is the one that really created the world and that the God of the Bible is an imposter.
by Deep blue 2012 December 2, 2009
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Phrase used to denote extreme reluctance to do a specified task or activity.
Alphonso: Hey, wanna' go with me to Utah?

Gregor: Hells no, I'd rather convert to Satanism.
by Johnny Pseudonym October 10, 2005
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Satanist

Satanism can be divided into two main branches.

Theistic Satanism.
Aesthetic Satanism.

Theistic Satanism( also called Traditional Satanism) is the worship of Satan as a deity. It can come in many forms such as reverse christianity, which is thought to be the only Satanism. Reverse Christianity would consist of the satanist believing Jehovah exists as the bible god, and Satan as the christian devil.
Then there is a Satanism in which Satan is believed to be a modern name for other gods, such as Enki, Tiamat, Set, etc.

Sometimes, in rural areas, animal sacrifice DOES occur. However, the animals are then eaten or disposed of humanely.
Rarely, if ever, actual killings of humans happen. Usually, the killer merely uses Satanism as an excuse, and wasn't an actual Satanist.

Aesthetic Satanism is when a person uses Satan as a symbol instead of a deity. They use him to signify independence, self-indulgence, worshipping yourself as a god. And, basically, it's an excuse to act like the universe revolves around your head.

And to anyone who says Satanist are "retarded" or "Fags", someday, we'll all be laughing as your body rots six feet under. And yes, humans and all material came from star dust.
Mary and Matthew went to the church of satan and now act superior because they became laveyan satanist.

John and Joseph looked theisticsatanism.com and began worshipping Satan and were law- abiding.
by Vazlim August 26, 2010
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Satansinging

When someone sings a song so damn terribly they sound like the devil himself.
Person A: ♪We WIsH yOu A MeRrY ChRiStMas

Person B: SHUT THE FUCK UP MATE, YOUR SATANSINGING
by Box_head December 23, 2018
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satanspawn

Satanspawn - where a person keeps complimenting you and they won't let you compliment them back.
Catty Hey you look cute today!
Gabby Thanks! You too.
Catty No I don't, what do you mean?
Gabby You can be such a satanspawn at times.
by officialik June 17, 2020
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